<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>no need to rush by ninchannie</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29724375">no need to rush</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninchannie/pseuds/ninchannie'>ninchannie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Anal Sex, Aromantic Asexual Kim Seungmin, Best Friends, Blow Jobs, Dildos, Drunken Confessions, First Time, Flirting, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Making Out, Platonic Relationships, Premature Ejaculation, Safe Sane and Consensual, Switching, Teasing, cleaning ones ass... described in detail, horny horny boys</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:22:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>29,270</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29724375</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninchannie/pseuds/ninchannie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeongin throws an arm over his face, even though the darkness is already shielding him. “Y-you’d really… even though I never…” he stutters, but Chan understands him, like he does so often when Jeongin’s words don’t pull through.</p>
<p>“I would,” the other replies truthfully. “I trust you and I know you trust me. I know that I’d- I would do it right.” There’s no doubt he wouldn’t.</p>
<p>“You’re my best friend…” Is all Jeongin manages, his mind clouded with the idea of Chan touching him more than he already is, of them being even closer.</p>
<p>“And you’re mine,” Chan replies, and it’s that easy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bang Chan/Yang Jeongin | I.N</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>171</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>AGIBBANG FEST</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>no need to rush</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my work for prompt #0098 of agibbang:<br/>‘Jeongin’s first time with his best friend.’</p>
<p>I ran away with it a little and basically the whole second half of this is pure (fluffy) filth… please enjoy!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Do you not <em>want</em> to wear this correctly or did someone mess it up?” Jeongin asks when Chan finally reaches him after a fight through the tight mass of bodies swaying back and forth in the middle of the room.</p>
<p>His hair is a little fluffier than it was when Jeongin last saw him and his smile that tad bit goofier. Sheepishly, Chan straightens his white shirt somewhat – a lost cause given its completely wrongly buttoned state – and pushes himself up to sit down next to Jeongin on the kitchen counter he’s currently occupying.</p>
<p>“Maybe a little of both,” he replies with an excessive eyebrow wiggle before handing Jeongin a green Jell-O-shot keeping a red one for himself, the snitch.</p>
<p>The younger brings the small plastic cup to his lips and throws his head back, slurping the shot with that sound that makes everyone laugh at the beginning of a party, but slowly fades to normality towards the end of one.</p>
<p>Shuddering, he places the empty cup behind himself and watches as Chan downs his own. “Fucking woodruff,” he grumbles trying to rub the taste off of his tongue. “Couldn’t you have gotten me cherry too? Or at least try to smell it and get me apple?”</p>
<p>With a shiteating grin, Chan shakes his head and boops Jeongin’s cheek before hopping off the counter to throw both of their cups into the overflowing trash. When he comes back, he lightly pushes Jeongin’s knees apart and stands between them, grabbing his shoulders to nudge him back and forth.</p>
<p>“Don’t be like that,” he says with a cute lilt to his voice, clearly loosened up by alcohol and hours spent being the life of the party. “What’s got you sitting here all alone?”</p>
<p>“You abandoned me to talk to god-knows-who and then Seungmin disappeared with Minho. <em>With Minho</em>,” he reaches his hands out and shakes Chan back and forth by the shoulders too, underlining his shock. “I don’t know anyone else here and I only came because of you two so… lonely kitchen sitting it is…”</p>
<p>“<em>Jeongiiin</em>,” Chan whines cutely, soon erupting into giggles when he gets dizzy from Jeongin’s movements. “You know more people. You know Felix, okay well I occupied Felix, but I bet you know someone else too… we’re all friends here. And besides that, it’s a <em>party</em>. Get to know someone!” His excitement is clear in his voice but Jeongin only sighs and drops his hands, slumping back against the wall.</p>
<p>“Have you seen anyone here that isn’t out to get laid tonight? And Seungmin doesn’t count…” He asks sincerely, looking around the room and sure enough, he only finds people that are dressed even skimpier than Chan is.</p>
<p>Following his gaze, Chan quickly scans the room too, before looking straight back at Jeongin. “Wanna get out of here?” His voice is completely sincere, like Chan is ready to leave at Jeongin’s wish, even though he could find lots more fun at the party.</p>
<p>Jeongin falls forward and slides off of the counter, held up only by Chan in front of him. “<em>Please</em>,” he begs and Chan quickly grabs his hand, pulling him past sweaty bodies and out of the house with a wide smile on his face, because even though he <em>could </em>find more fun things at the party, he loves to spend time with Jeongin just as much.</p>
<p>The two end up walking home instead of taking a cab like they planned to, thirty minutes through alleys and corners of the city the probably <em>shouldn’t </em>walk through at night, but they’re drunk and loud and talking about everything and anything, a natural repellent to any danger possibly coming their way.</p>
<p>It’s a chilly night, but they still climb out of Jeongin’s window when they arrive, up the rusty set of metal stairs winding up the side of the house. <em>Technically </em>they’re only to be used during emergencies, but <em>technically </em>Mrs. Ramirez from two floors below also isn’t allowed to completely block the steps with plants.</p>
<p>Also, Jeongin and Chan really don’t care.</p>
<p>They made their roof their own little getaway when Chan’s parents first got the entirety of the fourth floor of the old building, inherited from an uncle that had won it during a poker game. Yeah, Jeongin still can’t quite believe it.</p>
<p>The apartments are small and old, but they’re cheap since it’s Chan’s family, and they’re close enough to the campus as well as the city centre. Even more so, when Jeongin finally steps onto the flat roof, he completely forgets about leaking faucets and cracks in the walls from the sight alone, a dark sky and endless twinkling lights around them from cars and buildings, above from the stars and the thin sickle of the moon.</p>
<p>Sober, he’d at least pull his jacket off to lie down on, but everything is easier drunk, so Jeongin just flops down on his ass before lying down on his back, arms slightly spread away from his body, only moving when Chan comes to rest next to him.</p>
<p>Time flows weird up here, especially with a little spirit in his bloodstream, Jeongin thinks. He could have been laying there for five minutes or for thirty, he wouldn’t quite know, the stars – only interrupted by thin, wispy clouds – an endless canvas to find secrets in.</p>
<p>He only manages to snap out of it when Chan’s phone screen blinds him from the side, before the other lowers the brightness and puts on some music, placing the phone down above himself.</p>
<p>Jeongin doesn’t know the song, and that’s not because of the alcohol. He picks up a riff here and there, a bass line he heard in less refined states before. It’s still jumbly, still a mess, not quite right <em>yet</em>, but for Chan it never seems to be.</p>
<p>“Is that new?” Jeongin asks eventually, his voice sharp in the soothing thrum of the night.</p>
<p>Humming, he can feel Chan reach up to his phone, turning the volume down a little. “Yeah,” he hums. “Been playing around a little…”</p>
<p>They drift off again then, both lost in their own thoughts and spaces, their own time despite being right there together, on their roof. Jeongin’s time is more distinct now, like he can hear a ticking clock steadily counting the seconds in his head.</p>
<p>“Hey Chan?” He asks to break the spell. To stop the clock. A noncommittal hum tells him the other is listening. “When did you… when did you lose your virginity?” It might be a surprise for Chan, but it’s not for Jeongin. Not that he <em>planned </em>to speak his thoughts out loud, but now that they’re there it’s… it’s okay. They’re allowed to be.</p>
<p>He knows Chan is turning to him and to be polite he turns back, hoping that the darkness masks some of the embarrassment that’s still there. “I think I told you once… during truth or dare at Seungmin’s birthday?”</p>
<p>Nodding, Jeongin looks back and forth between Chan’s eyes, trying to assess, but what, he isn’t quite sure. “Yeah, but that was your first time with a girl… can you tell me about your first time with a man?”</p>
<p>“<em>Oh</em>,” Chan gasps, clearly surprised. “Was in the summer two years ago, when I did that internship… slept with one of the other interns and her boyfriend.”</p>
<p>Jeongin’s cheeks are burning, hot in the chilly air and against the tiles of the roof. “Oh,” he mirrors Chan’s earlier surprise, just less sudden, less spontaneous and more for a lack of something else.</p>
<p>“Why are you asking all of a sudden?” Chan asks, shuffling a little closer as if someone could eavesdrop on them. “Or is this not that sudden…”</p>
<p>Shaking his head, Jeongin shuffles closer too, until they’re both facing each other and laying on their sides, knees touching but nothing else.</p>
<p>“Not so sudden,” he explains, barely more than a whisper. “Not for me.”</p>
<p>“You want to sleep with a man?” Chan helps out, coaxing Jeongin to come forth where he wants to but is too scared to take the last steps himself.</p>
<p>He nods. “I’m really thinking a lot about it recently… I don’t think I want to sleep with someone that’s not a man, even though I’m still attracted to all kinds of people… Is that bad?”</p>
<p>“Of course not,” Chan replies easily. “Whatever you call yourself in front of others is just a label, it matters what you want and what feels right. Doesn’t matter if it’s not what you see others experiencing. It’s you.”</p>
<p>The song stutters a little in the back, before playing from the beginning and Jeongin stays silent to listen to it again. He likes it more and more he finds, hoping that Chan won’t change it too much before deeming it done.</p>
<p>“Pensive night?” Chan asks, still not letting go of that string Jeongin threw him, that beginning of a conversation that holds more than he’s letting out just yet.</p>
<p>Jeongin closes his eyes. It’s easier when he can’t see Chan. “Not just tonight,” he mumbles.</p>
<p>“You thinking about your first time? About when and how and <em>who</em>?” Chan digs further, and Jeongin wonders why he even asks, if he knows so easily anyway. He only nods. “It doesn’t have an expiration date and besides that, it’s bullshit anyway…”</p>
<p>He breaks off for a second, humming with the melody as if he’s adding something else in his head, before continuing. “The second time is what matters, and the third and fourth and so on… because then you begin to learn how you <em>like </em>it… with good people at least.”</p>
<p>Jeongin never talked about this topic so openly to someone, maybe with Chan once, when he admitted that he never had a partner, never experienced more than a few kisses and some mediocre handholding. But the silence is still comfortable, his best friend making him feel heard and safe, like it’s in his nature at all times to just <em>know</em>.</p>
<p>“I don’t want to lose it just for the sake of it, you know?” He says after a little, opening his eyes and blinking against the darkness, suddenly almost needing to see Chan. “I just feel so lonely in that regard, which is probably a little stupid since I don’t feel lonely otherwise… like I don’t want the relationship part necessarily, but I miss the physical aspect of it, even though I never had it. That’s dumb, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>Chan almost bumps his head against Jeongin’s from shaking his head so quickly. “No, not dumb at all, little bug,” he assures, the old nickname carrying years of familiarity. “You can yearn for the idea of it without ever having felt it… Where else would all those closeted renaissance artists have gotten their inspiration from?”</p>
<p>He chuckles, just enough to make a small smile appear on Jeongin’s features, disappearing as quickly as it came, for a more serious expression to settle on his face. “Jeongin, I know you won’t, but please don’t just hook up with anyone for that, okay? It’s just <em>more </em>if it’s with someone you connect with, you’re close to. Doesn’t have to be romantically…”</p>
<p>There’s something more to what he’s saying, something vulnerable that sits right at the edges of Chan’s words, right where they arise and die, nearly torn but only quivering as they’re spoken. No one would notice, but Jeongin does, because he knows too. He knows Chan.</p>
<p>“Yeah?” He asks, trying to keep his voice light. To not let it show that he’s onto Chan, maybe even before the other is onto himself. “You think I can find a person like that?”</p>
<p>Chan smiles in the way he only does when he’s shy, blushing. He’s less good at hiding that part of himself and Jeongin is glad he is. Makes it easier for him to read his best friend, to try and make sense of whatever is hatching in the nest of tension between them. Not a bad tension, not at all.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Chan says after a bit, when he can trust himself to not break out into sheepish giggles. “I’m right here, baby.”</p>
<p>In those late hours spent together, deep in the night when sounds are so much duller, everything so much darker, it’s easy to say these things. Easy for Jeongin to roll his eyes and gently swat Chan’s arm.</p>
<p>But once he sits up and smooths out his clothes, once Chan helps him to his feet and they climb down the rusty staircase, that’s when the air sobers him a little, and when time turns meaning and words into reality.</p>
<p>Jeongin is ready to fall into bed and let his body feel heavy, his mind too, and maybe then he can make sense of it all. Of why he saw so much honesty in Chan’s eyes despite his joking manners. Of why he knows his best friend wouldn’t make a light-hearted joke like that without a crumb of truth.</p>
<p>They slip back through the window, closing it tight behind them before Chan speaks up again.</p>
<p>“I’m crashing at yours tonight,” he says, like he already decided, even without asking Jeongin.</p>
<p>“You literally live across the hallway, why would you choose my floor over your own bed?” Jeongin asks, raising his brows when Chan slides off his shoes and puts them down next to the door.</p>
<p>“Because I won’t sleep on the floor,” he says when he walks back towards Jeongin, an innocent smile on his face. “You said you crave physical contact, so I’ll cuddle you until you’re sick of me.”</p>
<p>Jeongin blushes and this time he <em>knows </em>it’s not hidden by the darkness, because the crappy greenish light on the high ceiling is lighting the room up just perfectly for Chan to see. Jeongin knows he does when Chan’s smile falters a little.</p>
<p>“If you don’t want that that’s perfectly fine of course, I just think it might be good,” he explains. “For both of us, because I haven’t been close to anyone in <em>ages</em>.”</p>
<p>Jeongin’s brows furrow. “Didn’t you get it on with Felix earlier?”</p>
<p>“Yes, but I sucked his dick, we didn’t <em>cuddle</em>, that would’ve been weird.” The words don’t make sense. Chan has to realize they don’t, but he just keeps smiling as if nothing’s wrong.</p>
<p>With his throat feeling tight, Jeongin cocks his head a little. “But it’s not weird with me?”</p>
<p>Chan shakes his head. “You’re my best friend,” he says easily, and even though he has many friends, many he seems closer to than Jeongin, the younger knows it’s the truth. “I think we did way weirder things than cuddle…”</p>
<p>Jeongin ponders over the words, remembers times when they hijacked his mom’s car only to realize they don’t know how to drive manual. The time Chan needed an alibi, so Jeongin put on a wig and raised his voice and acted like he was his sister. Yes… they did weirder things. And yet…</p>
<p>"You're drunk,” is all he says, pushing past Chan to take his jacket and shoes off.</p>
<p>The other shrugs. "Yeah maybe,” he says, watching Jeongin carefully. “So you don’t want to?"</p>
<p>A sigh leaves Jeongin as he turns away from Chan, in no world able to look at him with what he’s about to say. He probably didn’t need that last Jell-O shot with how loose his tongue is feeling. He already knows what he’ll say, but it still feels like his mouth betrays him when the words slip out.</p>
<p>"No, I <em>do</em> want to,” he says, feigning confidence. “I'm just saying you're drunk… Drunk out of your mind.” He turns around to Chan and sticks his tongue out at him before disappearing into the bathroom to relieve himself.</p>
<p>When he comes out, Chan is sitting at the edge of Jeongin’s bed with a stupid grin and sends him finger guns when he stands up to walk into the bathroom next. “Make yourself nice and comfy, little bug,” he says. “You won’t be the same after tonight with all those <em>cuddles, </em>you’re going to get.”</p>
<p>He’s clearly teasing Jeongin, but in his tipsy state the other doesn’t manage to hit him with the pillow he flings at Chan, instead knocking over a stack of books on his desk. He groans, annoyed at how hot his cheeks are feeling just from Chan’s words, from thinking about the deeper meaning behind them.</p>
<p>Jeongin knows sleeping with someone won’t change him forever, won’t make him a different person, but that’s still how it’s portrayed everywhere. <em>You won’t be the same after tonight</em>. Words easily spoken in a flirty way between two people that will take that step. Not between best friends that will spend the night cuddling.</p>
<p><em>Gods</em>, did he really agree to that?</p>
<p>Stopping, Jeongin shakes his head at himself and slaps his cheeks a few times repeating the words <em>calm down, calm down, calm down</em> like a mantra in his head. He agreed to it because he really <em>wants </em>to, even if he risks awkwardness between Chan and him. But even if that were to happen, he knows it wouldn’t last long. They always know how to work things out if they don’t feel quite right.</p>
<p>Usually, Jeongin would sleep in underwear, but for the sake of seeming like a totally not creepy best friend, he grabs a pair of pyjama pants out of the back of his dresser, that he hasn’t worn in years. They have the hunters mark from Supernatural printed all over them, a relic of past fan obsessions. Jeongin sighs at himself and throws them on the bed. Chan can wear the Supernatural pants.</p>
<p>He grabs a pair of shorts for himself – with ghost type Pokémon all over them. As he hears the stuttering flush of his toilet, Jeongin slips into his bed, throwing a second blanket next to himself that Chan can use. His face is to the wall, pink and hot as he waits for Chan to come over and do the deed.</p>
<p>The floorboards creak under Chan’s steps when he walks over, commenting a short <em>classy </em>when he sees the Supernatural pants sit at the side of the bed. Jeongin can hear a zipper open – the sound making his skin burn even more – and fabrics shuffle and it feels like barely a second passes before the ceiling light is turned off and the mattress dips, Chan laying down and spreading the second blanket over himself.</p>
<p>Jeongin waits for a hand to touch him, an arm to wrap around him, for <em>something</em>, but nothing comes. With a confused expression he peeks over his shoulder, finding Chan looking right back at him, giggling when Jeongin turns away as if he was struck by lightning.</p>
<p>"We never did this before,” Chan mumbles softly and he is barely close enough for Jeongin to feel his breath fan over his skin. Why he notices such a miniscule thing goes completely over his head.</p>
<p>Slowly, he turns around to his other side, facing his best friend. “No shit,” he mutters, feeling embarrassed and sobering up with each painful second. “Of course we didn’t, friends don’t cuddle usually…”</p>
<p>Chan huffs. “I do it with quite a few to be honest,” he says, and when Jeongin’s eyes snap up he knows this isn’t just about the cuddling. Chan visibly gulps. “It’s nice to have this, even when you don’t have a partner.”</p>
<p>Nodding, Jeongin shuffles closer. “Yeah, you’re right,” he says, as if it’s not his first time being this close to someone in a context like theirs. “How do we- how do we start?”</p>
<p>Chan lifts his blanket up and straightens one arm out next to him, pointing his chin to his chest. “Let’s try this and we can figure it out from there.”</p>
<p>With his heart beating like it never has before, Jeongin shuffles forward until he can fit his body against Chan’s side, his head pillowed on his best friend’s shoulder. Well, it’s not really pillowed, the surface rather hard actually, so he lifts his head and grabs a plushie to use as a pillow.</p>
<p>It feels… awkward. Awkward and stiff and Jeongin doesn’t know if it’s his fault or if maybe he and Chan just don’t fit together like people in books and movies always appear to fit. But apparently the other isn’t concerned with that at all.</p>
<p>Chan reaches his free hand out to grab Jeongin’s and pulls it across his chest, the one underneath Jeongin’s head softly threading into his hair. He moves around a little, pushes at Jeongin’s stiff body until he relaxes and almost automatically pushes one knee between Chan’s and-</p>
<p>“<em>Oh</em>,” Jeongin breathes. “That’s kind of nice…”</p>
<p>Chan chuckles and Jeongin can <em>feel </em>it, is jostled by it. He’s glad that his head is tucked under Chan’s chin or he’d be scared the other would laugh at the state of his blush, probably a very healthy tomato red, a strawberry pink at best.</p>
<p>“It is,” Chan confirms in a soft voice that Jeongin feels as much as his laugh. It’s so close and intimate, he can’t help but wonder how he never did this before when it feels so <em>comforting</em>.</p>
<p>Closing his eyes, Jeongin just revels in all the new sensations coming at him, soft fingers carefully playing with his hair, he categorizes the feeling as Extremely Nice, a heartbeat palpable under his arm where it’s slung across Chan, also Extremely Nice.</p>
<p>There’s also a different kind of layer to it, one that goes even deeper than feeling and hearing and one he never really thought of before. He can <em>smell </em>Chan, a scent he knows from years of spending time together, sharing clothes and meeting up when neither of them has showered for days. But it’s different up close, and different after an evening spend drinking and dancing.</p>
<p>Chan smells like himself, but he also smells like stale, sour sweat from dancing for hours. Jeongin’s mouth fills with spit at the thought of salt on his tongue. It would be so easy to just bend forward and have a taste.</p>
<p>He also smells like beer and smoke, like something floral that Jeongin can only guess must be Felix’ perfume, imprinted in Chan’s clothes and on his skin. It’s a mixture of pleasant versus unpleasant, heady and delicious going against stinging sourness, but Jeongin finds that he really doesn’t mind.</p>
<p>Like on the roof, time runs differently in Chan’s arms and he only realizes, when blue light seeps through his closed lids and Chan winces, lowering the brightness of his phone. Jeongin takes a peek and gasps lightly, realizes they’ve been tangled like this for over half an hour.</p>
<p>Sometimes he has trouble allowing the time to flow quickly, especially when he’s nervous. He’ll have an exam or meet up with a friend and the minutes before will appear to stop, only passing like sticky, thick goop. Jeongin can barely fill them with activities then, but by Chan’s side, tucked into his shoulder, time flows by so easily, Jeongin is almost scared it will go too fast.</p>
<p>Taking a deep breath, Chan puts his phone down on the nightstand and flicks the small lamp off, engulfing them in complete darkness until their eyes get used to it, the city outside making everything look softer, almost like it’s not real.</p>
<p>Jeongin looks up and can see Chan’s eyes glint back at him.</p>
<p>“You got your retainer in?” The older asks and his voice is rough from alcohol and sleepiness. Jeongin’s heart starts beating erratically again.</p>
<p>“We haven’t even brushed teeth, do you think I’d put it in now?” He replies, stifling a yawn. He doesn’t even feel shame at saying that, some nights just ending without cleanliness and tact, just drunk and sticky with your best friend in your bed.</p>
<p>Chan hums. “Don’t you like… need it?”</p>
<p>Chuckling, Jeongin pulls back a little, keeping their legs tangled together but allowing Chan to pull his arm out from underneath him.</p>
<p>“You never had one, I’m guessing,” he says and can see the silhouette of Chan shaking his head. “Well, this is the natural defiance that comes with having a retainer. At some point, you stop caring.”</p>
<p>He can see Chan’s teeth blink through the darkness when he smiles. “Okay, as long as that’s allowed…”</p>
<p>Jeongin groans and rolls to his side, pulling his leg from between Chan’s, his arm back to his side. It feels cold and strange, like his body already got so used to Chan, he won’t feel whole without him again.</p>
<p>“It’s not,” he says, playfully defiant. “Be a rebel for once, Channie.”</p>
<p>A finger pokes his side, surprising Jeongin and making him squeal a little. “I literally coaxed my way into sleeping with you tonight, I think I’m rebel enough.”</p>
<p>With his breath hitching in his throat, Jeongin pushes his next words on the alcohol in his system… yes, that must be it. “You’re not sleeping with me the way I want…” he mumbles, hoping that by some merciful power Chan won’t have heard, or will just ignore the statement.</p>
<p>Mercy isn’t granted to him. “You can’t stop thinking about it, huh?” Chan asks and he doesn’t need Jeongin to reply, to <em>not</em> reply. “You know I meant my words on the roof… I’m right here.”</p>
<p>Jeongin throws an arm over his face, even though the darkness is already shielding him. “Y-you’d really… even though I never…” he stutters, but Chan understands him, like he does so often when Jeongin’s words don’t pull through.</p>
<p>“I would,” he replies truthfully, turning to his side and pulling Jeongin to his, until they’re facing each other. On the roof, their knees barely touched, and now their legs intertwine like puzzle pieces. “I trust you and I know you trust me. I know that I’d- I would do it right.”</p>
<p>There’s no doubt he wouldn’t.</p>
<p>“You’re my best friend…” Is all Jeongin manages, his mind clouded with the idea of Chan touching him more than he already is, of them being even closer. They’re best friends, can that even work?</p>
<p>“And you’re mine,” Chan replies, and it’s that easy. Jeongin’s heart fills with knowledge that it would work, because they always do. There’s no ounce of mistrust between them. “If you want to, we can talk about that tomorrow. Like, seriously talk about it. When we’re both sober and can think clearly.”</p>
<p>It feels a bit like rejection, but a lot more like a friend looking out for someone they love. “You’re not thinking clearly right now?” Jeongin asks, worry seeping into his voice. “You think tomorrow it’ll be different, that it will all have been a tipsy joke?”</p>
<p>Chan shakes his head and pulls Jeongin even closer to him. “Of course not. But I want to do it right with you and I’d never take advantage of someone when they’re drunk.”</p>
<p>Nodding, Jeongin can feel sleep tug at his eyes. Chan’s fingers are so warm on his waist, his breath smelling of vodka but soothing as it fans over his skin. “Can you promise me that it isn’t just a joke. Promise that we’ll talk?”</p>
<p>Without wasting a beat, Chan grabs Jeongin’s hand and locks their pinkies together. “I promise we will figure things out tomorrow and no matter what will happen, you’ll always be my best friend.”</p>
<p>A nervous breath leaves Jeongin. “Do you maybe wanna kiss me a little?” He slurs, tiredness and liquor getting the best of him. He giggles right after and Chan chimes in easily.</p>
<p>“Sure, little bug, I’ll kiss you,” he replies after a little, moving closer and it’s only then that Jeongin realizes he really said that. Chan is moving in closer and Jeongin’s breath stutters. He wonders if he’ll still taste like the gross woodruff and if Chan will be disgusted by him, if-</p>
<p>Chan presses a quick peck to the tip of his nose.</p>
<p>“I told you I’d never take advantage of you,” he says right after, before turning in Jeongin’s grasp, pressing his back to the younger’s front. “Now sleep, we’ll talk tomorrow.”</p>
<p>Time also passes strangely with Chan tucked to his front, Jeongin finds, when barely a moment after closing his eyes – or at least it feels like that – Chan stirs again and sits up a little. The room is a little brighter, as if the sun is starting to go up, but it’s way too early to stand up.</p>
<p>When Chan realizes he accidentally woke Jeongin up, he sends him an apologetic smile. “It’s hot,” he mumbles. “’m taking my shirt off.”</p>
<p>It wakes Jeongin up some more and his eyes widen as he watches Chan slip the thin fabric of his white shirt over his shoulders. His fingers are twitching, but he doesn’t reach out to touch. “It’s not even that hot,” he mumbles instead, voice groggy.</p>
<p>Chan shrugs and lays down again, pulling Jeongin’s blanket over himself instead of the spare one. “I usually sleep naked, so I think I’m overheating a little.” As if he doesn’t realize the picture that he’s conjuring in Jeongin’s mind, he also pushes himself back against his best friend again, pulling his arm tight around him.</p>
<p>“O-oh, okay,” Jeongin manages, hoping his fingers aren’t trembling as much as he thinks they are, drumming against the mattress mere millimetres away from Chan’s skin.</p>
<p>Humming, Chan presses his own hand down over Jeongin’s and nudges it to his stomach. “You can rub my tummy if you wanna,” he says sleepily.</p>
<p>Jeongin hides his burning face in Chan’s back. “Why would I want to rub your tummy?”</p>
<p>“I can feel the way they’re shaking and since I’m very warm, you can use me as a heater.” Chan’s intention is almost too pure, his tired brain obviously erasing all not-so-soft thoughts from his mind.</p>
<p>“They’re not shaking because I’m cold, Channie,” Jeongin whispers slowly and he can feel the way Chan tenses momentarily, before relaxing with a short giggle.</p>
<p>“Just touch me a little if you want to… that’s part of cuddling too and I promise I’m okay with it.” His voice is airy and soft, clearly laced through with sleep and it’s one Jeongin didn’t get to hear too often in the years of their friendship. He could get used to it.</p>
<p>Carefully, Jeongin begins to move his fingers over Chan’s stomach, the other’s hand still above his but not really a weight to hold him back, only safety and warmth to make sure that he’s still okay with it, that everything is fine.</p>
<p>Chan’s skin is so soft like this, Jeongin is confused how it looked so muscular and hard at the party but now is squishy and nice, like a plushie he just wants to hold forever. Gently, he drags his fingers down, feeling Chan’s belly button under his palm and then suddenly something coarse underneath it.</p>
<p>Confused, Jeongin pushes his fingers more purposefully up to it, blushing when he realizes that the feeling comes from tiny curly hairs, a happy trail disappearing underneath the waistband of the pants Jeongin gave Chan.</p>
<p>Sighing contently, Chan shuffles backwards and even closer against Jeongin’s body, pulling the blanket higher over them. His own hand urges Jeongin to go on, to continue his exploration and shyly, the younger does, rubbing over Chan’s lower stomach and gently twirling the hair between his fingers. He gyrates lower without thought.</p>
<p>When Jeongin’s fingertips graze over the fabric of the pants, Chan’s breath hitches a little, but he doesn’t stop Jeongin from going further. It’s starkly palpable to Jeongin when the curls of Chan’s happy trail merge into his trimmed pubic hair, the way the stubbles prickle on his skin.</p>
<p>He can feel Chan tremble in his arms, his breath coming quicker than of someone who should long be sleeping. But Jeongin’s is going just as fast, and his heart probably even faster. He’s never been this close to anyone, never this close to touching someone <em>there</em>.</p>
<p>Only a few centimetres would be needed for him be able to wrap a hand around Chan. His fingers itch with the want to do it, to feel the weight of someone else’s cock in his palm, and he doubts his friend would stop him, but he knows they should really talk about things first.</p>
<p>Jeongin isn’t tipsy enough anymore to have that excuse for any impulsive decisions, so with a tightness in his throat he pulls his hand out of the pants but keeps his arms around Chan.</p>
<p>He’s careful to keep a distance between their middles, not quite willing to embarrass himself by making Chan feel his cock press against him, where Jeongin chubbed up in his pants from what little they did. Jeongin’s cheeks are burning, but with that last thought, he falls asleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>🍒</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next morning, Jeongin wakes up with the realisation that his efforts of the night before have been for naught, when he startles at the feeling of throbbing heaviness in his pants. He must’ve turned around in his sleep, because in the opposite position they fell asleep in, Chan is now wrapped around him completely.</p>
<p>To make the situation even worse, Chan’s arm is thrown over his middle in a way that makes his hand rest <em>just</em> at the top of Jeongin’s waistband, grazing over the exposed skin where the younger's shirt must’ve ridden up in his sleep.</p>
<p>One wrong movement and Jeongin knows his cock will accidentally push up against Chan’s hand.</p>
<p>It’s almost tempting.</p>
<p>He blushes at the pure thought, scrambling up into a sitting position and out of his friend’s hold, startling him awake in the process. Chan blinks his eyes open slowly, needing a few seconds to rub tiredness away and find Jeongin sit upright like he was struck by lightning, his face cradled in his hands.</p>
<p>Brows furrowing, Chan pushes himself up, the blanket slipping from his naked chest and Jeongin almost squeals when he peeks through his fingers and lays eyes on the sight. Chan’s hair is all messy, flopping around cutely when he looks through the room to make sense of his surroundings.</p>
<p>Once his gaze falls back on Jeongin, it travels down over his torso, the shirt crumpled from the night and comes to rest at his middle, where a clear tent is protruding right under the image of a Gengar. Chan sobers up immediately, averting his gaze with burning cheeks.</p>
<p>“How in the world can you be horny now?” He asks with a gruff voice. “My head hurts like a bitch...”</p>
<p>With another squeal, Jeongin grabs the hem of his shirt and pulls it over his middle, hiding his problem in embarrassment. “I- it’s your fault, okay? And my head is <em>fine</em>, you’re just a hag,” Jeongin says with a high voice, stumbling over words with how quick he’s speaking.</p>
<p>“<em>Jeez</em>, no need to offend me,” Chan jokes and flips the covers over Jeongin, standing up. “I’ll leave the youth alone then, so you can get rid of your <em>problem</em>. See you later to, <em>uhh</em>, figure things out.”</p>
<p>A pillow hits Chan as he grabs his clothes from the floor and he sends Jeongin a cheeky smile over his shoulder, followed by a giggle when a plushie comes flying next.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>🍒</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seungmin makes weird art and he’s the first to admit that. But it’s a good thing he’s one of Jeongin’s best friends because that means Jeongin can visit Seungmin’s workspace – or atelier, maybe even rather refuge – whenever he so pleases, and Seungmin will be happy to talk about whatever as long as he can throw some paint at a canvas. Quite literally.</p>
<p>Jeongin is sipping on some boba and Seungmin on his stupid hipster kombucha, Jeongin’s legs swinging from the high chair he has occupied in the corner of the room, the wood creaking under his weight and splattered with paint. It’s a setup like normal, but his inner turmoil is similar to that of the evening before, just that now there’s no alcohol in the game to loosen his tongue.</p>
<p>It must be awfully visible in the atmosphere of the room, because with an exaggerated sigh Seungmin turns around and points a dripping paintbrush at Jeongin. “Spit it out before I <em>kick</em> you out,” he says with a quirk of his brow, only half joking. “Your vibes are all off, I can’t work when I can feel it in the air.”</p>
<p>Jeongin fondly rolls his eyes and pops a tapioca pearl between his teeth, gnawing on the jelly substance for a bit as he conquers Seungmin’s gaze, just a little rebellious. With another exasperated sigh, the other turns back to the giant canvas in front of him, bringing his hand to his chin in a pensive pose and smudging blue all over his skin.</p>
<p>“Okay, okay,” Jeongin says after another gulp of pure sweetness. Seungmin doesn’t turn to him, but his posture relaxes visibly. “How do you think of-" Jeongin cuts himself off, taking another sip. “<em>Uhh</em>, what is your opinion on like, <em>uhm</em>, friends with benefits situations?”</p>
<p>That makes Seungmin turn to him with an intrigued expression. “You ask me, because obviously I am the epitome of knowledge about that topic? Your very much asexual and aromantic friend who has no concept of sexual urges nor of romance?”</p>
<p>Huffing, Jeongin let’s himself fall back against the wall. “I think you could have an interesting view on the topic <em>and</em> you know that I value your opinion.” He’s looking up at the ceiling but Jeongin is sure Seungmin blushes. He can hear the cap of a tube of paint being popped open, then a wet splatter.</p>
<p>“Okay, I’ll take those words as bribe,” Seungmin replies after a few seconds. “So, are you asking for yourself?”</p>
<p>Sighing, Jeongin nods, following up with a short, “yeah...” after a few seconds of silence, unsure if Seungmin is watching him or his painting.</p>
<p>“Okay... okay, so like, you know,” Seungmin starts and his tone shows that his next words will be less than uncomfortable, but Jeongin is familiar with those. “You still got your maidenhood all intact?” Point and case.</p>
<p>“<em>Jeez</em>, you can’t talk normally, huh?” Jeongin asks, more to himself really but when he looks back down Seungmin is sending him a glare. “I’m just teasing, but yeah... it’s still <em>intact</em>.”</p>
<p>“<em>Hmm</em>, okay that changes some things.” Seungmin’s voice is distant as he eyes his painting again, taking a minute or so to get back on track. “You got anyone in mind? For the friends with benefits thing?”</p>
<p>Jeongin is slowly starting to regret his decision on asking Seungmin for help. Opening up is way too exhausting to do it twice in the course of less than a day.</p>
<p>“What does it matter?” He asks and Seungmin turns from his painting to him with a look of pure confusion on his face. “W-what, can’t you just give me your thoughts like this?”</p>
<p>Groaning, Seungmin reaches into a bowl of... goo? Taking a handful out and slapping it onto the canvas, wiping his hand on his blue jeans afterwards. “I think there’s a difference if it’s a trustworthy person you know, or Jeff from grindr who wants to be your fuckbuddy.”</p>
<p>Blushing, Jeongin nearly drops his bubble tea. “His name was Jack, okay? And I deleted the app right after that...” He sticks the straw between his pouty lips.</p>
<p>“I don’t care what his name was and stop distracting,” Seungmin threatens, pointing a crusty finger at Jeongin. “Who is it?”</p>
<p>“I-I, <em>uhhh</em> I-" Jeongin’s cheeks are burning.</p>
<p>“Okay, you know what?” Seungmin cuts him off. “Put that tea down and get your hands in here, come on.”</p>
<p>Slightly perplexed, Jeongin stands up and places his tea down on the chair, carefully approaching. “A-are you sure?” He asks, reluctantly pushing his sleeves up to his elbows.</p>
<p>“<em>This </em>isn’t working,” the other says, pointing at the canvas. “And <em>this</em> isn’t working either.” He motions between Jeongin and him. “So we’ll combine both.”</p>
<p>Nodding, Jeongin prods at the gooey mess in the container. “I just...?”</p>
<p>“Just grab a handful and throw it on here, it can’t get worse at this point...”</p>
<p>Pushing his tongue out at his friend, Jeongin grabs a handful of the goo. “Wow, your trust in my artistic abilities is showing,” he says teasingly before throwing the substance at the canvas. Weirdly enough, it feels... good? Jeongin does it again.</p>
<p>Seungmin cheers him on for a few seconds, before grabbing a tube of yellow paint and squeezing it right against the canvas. “Now we’re getting somewhere,” he mumbles to himself, sending Jeongin a happy smile. “So, who is it?”</p>
<p>Jeongin’s heart is beating into his throat, but like releasing the goo from his hand, it’s a relief when the words are spoken. “It’s Channie...” His voice is almost confident. Seungmin’s smile turns into an evil grin.</p>
<p>“I know,” he giggles. “He texted me this morning.”</p>
<p>Gasping, Jeongin nearly drops the glob in his hand, in the end smearing it against the canvas with his palm and dragging it down the length with his fingers. “Why did you make me tell you then, you prick?”</p>
<p>“You’re cute when you’re all embarrassed, and also I really like what you just did to my artwork.” Seungmin’s eyes are glinting just looking at it, looking truly happy and Jeongin almost forgets that he’s a tiny bit annoyed at being teased.</p>
<p>“S-so Channie texted you?” He asks instead, turning around to search for a towel somewhere in the room, finding one over another chair in the other corner. He grabs it and wipes his hand as clean as he can get it without water. “What did he say?”</p>
<p>Calm as can be, Seungmin turns to his friend. “He asked me how morally conflicting it would be for him to pop your cherry as a good friend... okay, maybe in other words.”</p>
<p>With crimson cheeks, Jeongin empties his boba to gain a few seconds. “You really can’t speak normally, oh my <em>gosh</em>.” Shrugging, Seungmin turns back to his art and Jeongin feels like he can at least breathe again. “S-so what did you answer?”</p>
<p>Seungmin scratches his chin, picking up another tube of paint before shaking his head and dropping it again. “I told him that if that’s what you want, he will better treat you like the most precious thing on earth, which you are, or I’ll kick his stupid ass.”</p>
<p>Despite the absurdity of the sentence, Jeongin almost coos. This is as close to a confession of love as he will get from Seungmin. “So you think I should... I should go for it?”</p>
<p>Rubbing his temples, Seungmin sighs once more. “I think he served it on a silver platter, and I think it <em>could </em>work out... If both of you put down clear boundaries about feelings and love and sodomy and all that stuff. You think you can do that?”</p>
<p>Jeongin gulps. He’s thought about it a lot ever since he woke up that morning. “I mean it’s Chan... you know he’s good at talking, and I think as awkward as it will be, I might not be half bad either.”</p>
<p>Chuckling, Seungmin slaps a lid onto the container of goo. “You sound pretty sure of what you want already if you ask me...”</p>
<p>It’s true, but Jeongin still feels taken aback by the words.</p>
<p>“Th-the thing is... don’t you think it might be seen as weird? Having the first person you sleep with be a friend instead of your first partner?” Jeongin knows this is a difficult subject for Seungmin, but he also knows the other is more than capable of talking about it or telling him off if he doesn’t want to.</p>
<p>“I think it’s perfect. In this case definitely,” he says, giving Jeongin a short, court smile before averting his gaze. “My first time was with a romantic partner and she didn’t once realize how it sucked for me, even though there were feelings there from her side. So that really isn’t a promise of a good time if you ask me.”</p>
<p>Nodding, Jeongin swirls the straw around in the last few pearls he couldn’t get out of the bottom of the cup. “What if my future partners will think badly of me...” It’s barely more than a whisper and it almost feels too vulnerable a fear to share. But Seungmin is good with these things in his blunt, open manner.</p>
<p>“Well first and foremost that would make them a gigantic asshole and I trust you enough to not date someone like that,” he says with a clear voice as he rummages through his brushes. “And most importantly, it’s your life, not your potential future partners'. You should do what <em>you </em>want.”</p>
<p>It’s obvious and almost a little too easy, but Jeongin thinks that Seungmin must be right.</p>
<p>Sometimes things are just easy like that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>🍒</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chan has to leave for class at 3:30, leaving them an hour and some to talk. Jeongin <em>knew</em> they’d talk, because even without precise plans, Chan always stays true to his words, even with things he’s not too excited about and that others would wiggle their way out of.</p>
<p>He texts Jeongin right after the other gets back from Seungmin’s and Jeongin nearly throws his phone across the room when he sees Chan’s name on the display. When he collects himself to take a look it’s not nearly as bad as he thought, of course it isn’t. There’s nothing <em>bad </em>about it in the first place.</p>
<p>
  <em>Okay if I come over in an hour? I can pick up japchae from my mom on the way if you haven’t eaten.</em>
</p>
<p>The text is as clear cut as it can really get, typically Chan. At the same time, he’s not saying the obvious outright in a way that could make Jeongin nervous. Not reminding him that they’re going to talk about what could possibly become a situation where Jeongin gets <em>laid </em>in the not so far future. By Chan of all people.</p>
<p>Jeongin could’ve definitely gotten it worse. Hell, he doubts he could’ve gotten it any <em>better</em>.</p>
<p>The hour before Chan’s arrival simultaneously flies by and crawls forward at snail’s pace. Jeongin cleans up the counter they’ll eat at and throws the trash out just to move a little and get the nervousness out of his system.</p>
<p>He’s antsy as he waits for Chan to knock, but when he finally does, he comes in smiling like normal, wearing relaxed clothes and no backpack, showing he must’ve stopped by his own apartment across the hallway before coming over.</p>
<p>The japchae smells lovely when Chan opens the container his mom gave him – a more than generous amount – and Jeongin grabs his biggest bowls from the cupboard, helping Chan in filling them up before they settle down next to each other on the IKEA bar chairs Jeongin got off Craigslist when he moved in.</p>
<p>Awkwardness starts to settle in when they start eating their lunch and what normally would be easy conversation about anything and everything turns to awkward smalltalk about their day. About <em>my boss didn’t yell at me today </em>and <em>Seungmin still likes kombucha, I wonder how long that will last</em>.</p>
<p>At some point, the conversation just drizzles off and Jeongin finds himself picking at his bowl more so than eating, ultimately placing his chopsticks down and standing up to grab himself something cold to drink from the fridge. To cool down his overheating brain.</p>
<p>It already helps to feel the icy metal of the two cans of soda against his palm and he slides Chan one with habitual movements. When he sits back down, Chan’s can snaps open and nearly makes Jeongin jump, but he busies himself with opening his own can and taking a big swig, the bubbles burning their way down his throat.</p>
<p>He sets the can down with a little too much purpose, droplets of condensation flying onto the countertop.</p>
<p>“Last night you said we’d talk,” he begins, his voice sounding robotic even to his own ears. “Actually, I <em>know </em>you came over to talk, so can we? About... that...”</p>
<p>Chan clearly tries to cover up any surprise at the sudden outburst from his friend, but the pink at the tip of his ears gives him away. He slowly finishes his bite, takes a sip of his soda only to wince at the bubbles, then takes another.</p>
<p>“I thought about it a lot,” he admits. “If you really meant what you said or if you were drunk or horny or both. But I know you don’t just... let yourself be that open. I know talking about stuff like this is hard for you, so I came to the conclusion that you really mean it.” His eyes flit back and forth between Jeongin’s. “So, you really want it? A sex situation, friends with benefits situation with me?”</p>
<p>The last sentence loses itself in the faux nonchalance Chan tried to build up, but instead of getting nervous about it he rolls with it and grins and cheeky smile at Jeongin that makes him feel all but breathless for a second.</p>
<p>The awkwardness dissipates until it’s bearable and Jeongin grins with Chan. He feels drunk, drunk on the sole idea of it. Definitely more so than he felt the night before, when there was actual alcohol in his system, but he lets the feeling push him to speak openly because just like Chan said, that doesn’t come easy for him.</p>
<p>“I know you texted Seungmin this morning,” he says instead of replying directly, loving the way Chan hides behind his hand with a giggle. “I mean fair enough, since I asked him for advice too... the poor guy, having to deal with us.”</p>
<p>“He’ll live. If he can talk to us about the stock system for three hours, we are allowed to ask him for help too.”</p>
<p>Jeongin nods and grabs his chopsticks to take a bite, finally feeling less tense and relaxed enough to get back to the delicious food. “He really helped me... told me that he’ll kick your ass if you hurt me.”</p>
<p>At that, Chan’s head snaps towards him from his own bowl. “He said that?” He asks in surprise and Jeongin nods quickly. There’s a pause then, one where Chan’s gaze lays on him heavily but neither of them says anything. “So is that an answer? If I hurt you he’ll kick my ass, but I can only hurt you if-"</p>
<p>“It’s an answer,” Jeongin interrupts him, rhythmically tapping his chopsticks against his bowl. “It’s a yes, I think. We just need to... need to make clear what we’re okay with. Or what’s absolutely not okay.”</p>
<p>He sees Chan nodding in his peripheral vision. “Of course... Is that something you want to do now, or rather when we’re not eating? You can also write stuff down if that would make things easier to talk about for you.”</p>
<p>Jeongin quickly shakes his head, finishing up his bowl before turning to Chan. “Let’s do it now. Get it done and over with. I thought about my... my boundaries. About what I want, so if you’re ready now too, let’s do it.”</p>
<p>Chan isn’t done yet, but he pushes his bowl away and turns to Jeongin until their knees are touching. “Okay,” he agrees, tapping his fingers against the countertop. “Then the first thing I want to tell you is that it’s never done and over with, okay? If your boundaries ever change, you can talk openly to me. Actually, I expect you to do that.”</p>
<p>Jeongin feels heat rush up his neck and into his cheeks. “That’s okay,” he says carefully, feeling just a little shaky until Chan brings his hand down flat on his thigh, grounding him with the simple touch. “But you can be open too. Always. I know it’s hard for me sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you have to adapt to me by closing yourself off.”</p>
<p>A pleased smile forms on Chan’s face. “I’m very okay with that."</p>
<p>Silence stretches out between them and Jeongin feels like he’s being pulled with it, ready to rip any second. Chan is looking at him so intently, softly yet full of purpose and he briefly wonders if his eyes always burn this intense. If they will when his hand isn’t just on Jeongin’s thigh but somewhere else entirely. He blushes even more.</p>
<p>“What are you thinking about right now?” Chan asks, cocking his head with a cute smile on his lips.</p>
<p>Shaking his head, Jeongin tries to will thoughts of lying, of keeping silent away. This is just Chan, his best friend who’s still here after Jeongin told him he wouldn’t mind sleeping with him, who asked for a kiss the night before.</p>
<p>So he tells him. “I’m thinking about your eyes. And your hands. On me.” It’s choppy and the words lay square on his tongue, unusual, but Jeongin finds that they’re not as heavy spoken out as they feel in his mind.</p>
<p>Chan straightens his position and nods encouragingly. “That’s, <em>wow</em>, not what I expected but it’s good! A great start so we can, <em>uh</em>, talk? I’ve never had a talk quite like this, but I think it’s a good way to ease into it.” His voice is a tiny bit frantic. “So touching is okay? Everywhere?”</p>
<p>Jeongin feels like his skin will be burned off by the time Chan’s class rolls around. “Y-yeah? I mean you know I don’t have a lot of experience in that regard, but I think I’m fine with anything as long as you stop when I tell you to. Maybe ask before you touch my... my feet or elbows. I’m ticklish...”</p>
<p>A breathy laugh leaves Chan but it’s not directed against Jeongin, more so into the air to loosen up the tension. “Duly noted,” he says with a court nod that makes the younger smile too. “You can touch me everywhere too, as long as you know, the <em>mood</em> is right.”</p>
<p>Jeongin’s brows scrunch together. “The mood? So we won’t just... have a time and place and... do it?”</p>
<p>The other almost gasps. “I <em>uh</em>, I mean do you want that? I thought we’d... I mean for me...” He breaks himself off a few times, pulling his hand back from Jeongin’s thigh to grab his soda but he doesn’t drink from it, only holds it in his palm. “For me this isn’t just a onetime thing to have sex, you know? At least I don’t want it to be.”</p>
<p>Jeongin’s heart flutters but he isn’t quite sure for what reason. Why did he even think it would work out that way? He could’ve guessed himself that that’s not how Chan would go about it, that that’s not how <em>he</em> should go about it.</p>
<p>“How do you want it to be?” He asks shyly and Chan visibly relaxes.</p>
<p>He takes a sip and places the can down. “I’d like to be casual about it. I’d like for us to be able to cuddle whenever we desire, be that in front of the TV or hugging randomly during the day or, well, in bed. I like being soft with my friends too. I... I <em>need </em>that softness to be honest.”</p>
<p>Jeongin can taste his vulnerability in the air, basically see the way Chan is ripping his ribcage open to spill out what’s trapped inside. He thinks about it carefully, about the night before and how every touch made his heart race, everything felt warm and comfortable and exciting. He certainly wouldn’t mind more of it.</p>
<p>“I want that too, now that you say it. I haven’t <em>thought </em>about it yet, but I think it’s better this way. More natural.” He pushes a strand of hair behind his ear that suddenly tickles his skin. “Now that I think of it, I can’t imagine putting down a certain time for us to... you know.”</p>
<p>A breath leaves Chan. “Good, that’s good! We’re on the same page this far so I’m feeling good.”</p>
<p>“You sure said<em> good </em>an awful lot there,” Jeongin chuckles and Chan gently swats his knee. When Jeongin looks back up at the other’s face, his eyes fall to his lips, pink from the cold beverage and his mind goes places it probably shouldn’t. “What about... what about kissing?”</p>
<p>Chan’s answer comes quicker than Jeongin expected.</p>
<p>“<em>Please</em>,” it’s breathed softly into the space between them, and Chan averts his gaze for a few seconds afterwards. “It’s part of the process for me, but I’d also like to kiss you outside of, you know... <em>doing </em>stuff.”</p>
<p>Jeongin wants to reach out and pull his face towards him again, but he decides against it. “That’s okay... I like kissing. I want to kiss you.” The last part wasn’t meant to be spoken out loud, but it’s what makes Chan look at him.</p>
<p>“Jeongin I-" he begins, before gulping heavily. “I think the one thing people always worry about with friends with benefits deals is catching feelings. What if we... what if one of us falls in love on the way?”</p>
<p>It’s another one of those things Jeongin thought about ever since his talk with Seungmin, but he didn’t find a clear answer to it. “Would that be bad? If I fell for you, I think I’d be lucky. And as long as we’re honest, which is basically the base line of this whole <em>thing</em>, we should be fine, right?”</p>
<p>Chan nods slowly and for a few moments too long. “I think I could fall in love with you pretty easily,” he admits and Jeongin has to keep himself together to not shriek. He settles on a small gasp. “Come on, you’re <em>you</em>,” Chan reiterates. “You’re amazing. I just want to remind you that it’s not off the table that I fall for you.”</p>
<p>Jeongin feels like he just ran up the stairs with a backpack full of books. “That’s okay. We can deal with it when the time comes, right? I feel like we’re tight enough to be able to get through that if one of us falls in love and the other doesn’t... even though that seems unlikely.”</p>
<p>Confusion is written all over Chan’s features, but he doesn’t question anymore, clearly similarly exhausted from the topics as Jeongin feels. Pulling his phone out of his pocket to check the time, Chan nods before placing his elbows on his knees and bending forward.</p>
<p>“I think we’re done with the worst of the talk... the feelings part,” he giggles, and Jeongin easily chimes in, completely enthralled by Chan basically leaning into his space. “Now the only thing you have left to decide is how far you want to go. Do you only want to have <em>sex </em>sex, or do you want to do other things as well? Do you think you have any preference on roles, etcetera...?”</p>
<p>Jeongin feels like he’d fall off his chair if Chan wasn’t so close. “You say that so <em>easily</em>, what the hell? I feel like <em>that’s </em>the worst part,” he yell-whispers, as if worried one of his neighbours will overhear.</p>
<p>“Well, if you want to <em>do </em>these things, I feel like we should talk about them, right? I don’t want to get beaten up by Seungmin after all,” Chan jokes and it gives Jeongin a weird feeling of whiplash as he ponders over Chan’s words of what he <em>wants.</em></p>
<p>In the end, the answer is surprisingly simple, even if it still makes Jeongin’s tongue feel heavy.</p>
<p>“I want to try everything. Whatever you can and want to show me.”</p>
<p>He can see the way Chan’s Adam’s apple bops and hear him suck in a harsh breath of air before nodding. “O-okay, good.” His voice is pressed tight as he takes another look at his phone, cursing under his breath. “We will both think over this. Over all of it, okay? And later we can both meet up again and if we’re still up then... yeah. Or tomorrow, whenever. However much time you need.”</p>
<p>Jeongin barely has time to compute the nervously spoken words before Chan stands up, finishing the rest of his bowl in record time and grabbing his can of soda. He gives the younger an awkward half hug before thundering to the door.</p>
<p>“Text me please?” He asks before leaving and Jeongin isn’t sure if he means in general or about <em>this.</em></p>
<p>“I'll text you,” he promises, feeling strangely empty when the door clicks shut behind the other.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>🍒</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Instead of texting Chan, Jeongin runs to his door as soon as he hears the stairs creak outside of his apartment. It could very well be another neighbour that he barges out of his door to, but he completely ignores that possibility as nervousness and excitement about wanting to tell Chan what conclusion he came to mend together.</p>
<p>Thankfully, when he opens the door it is to Chan dragging his tired ass up the stairs, nearly stumbling over the last step in shock at Jeongin’s sudden appearance.</p>
<p>For a second, Jeongin feels bad for just thinking of himself and what he wants, when Chan had to go to class and probably only wants to rest afterwards. The guilt vanishes surprisingly quickly when Chan’s expression turns to one of pure happiness as he smiles at Jeongin.</p>
<p>It wasn’t him who had to trot up the stairs but Jeongin feels breathless all of a sudden, his mouth dry and tongue frozen in place. Suddenly the words he wanted to scream out right after Chan left earlier feel way too vulnerable to be uttered so hastily, too intimate to be spoken in the middle of the doorway.</p>
<p>But thankfully, Chan doesn’t seem to be holding back at all. “Do you want to come over to watch some Fixer Upper? I-I have to shower first but maybe in thirty minutes? If you want to, I mean.” Chan’s voice is jumbly and he’s clearly nervous, but Jeongin doesn’t have to think for longer than a second before he nods enthusiastically.</p>
<p>They part ways with awkward waves and Chan turns back to Jeongin before he closes his door, breaking out in giggles that make Jeongin blush up to his ears. He slams the door shut on accident, his fingers too shaky to grasp it properly, before leaning against it with his back.</p>
<p>He’s still nervous about his decision, even though he knows Chan gave his enthusiastic input to it long before Jeongin even considered it properly. He also knows that his best friend will treat him <em>right</em>. Always has and always will.</p>
<p>There’s also that hint of nerves pulling at the back of Jeongin’s mind, about the domestic aspects of their agreement. About cuddles and kisses and softness that is only ascribed to couples in movies. Not to friends or friends with benefits.</p>
<p>Much the opposite is the case really, now that Jeongin thinks about it. All movies he has seen with any sort of dynamic like that, ended in miscommunication and hurt because one of the friends caught feelings. But even that Chan kept in mind when they talked earlier, even if it was awkward in the moment.</p>
<p>Jeongin doesn’t <em>think </em>he has feelings for Chan, but his heart is beating a little wildly when he rushes to get into the shower himself, just to make sure. Because what if… what if <em>going over to Chan’s to watch Fixer Upper</em> will be their Netflix and chill? What if that’s code he hasn’t realized yet?</p>
<p>Technically Jeongin knows Chan wouldn’t just dive right into it, but there’s still an itch sitting under his skin that makes him scrub himself extra well and use the expensive shampoo his mom got him for Christmas. Just because <em>what if</em>…</p>
<p>Jeongin’s head clears a little when he steps out of his stuffy bathroom, dried off and with a towel around his shoulders to pick out clothes for a relaxed evening at Chan’s. They do those quite frequently, mostly because Chan has an actual TV to watch stuff on and not just a laptop.</p>
<p>The Pokémon shorts are smiling up at Jeongin, but he reaches for the Supernatural joggers instead, that he lent Chan after the party. It feels a little filthy to pull on used closed when freshly showered, but at the same time it feels <em>exciting </em>for Jeongin to be in pants that were last worn by his best friend. His best friend who will be a little <em>more</em> after what Jeongin hopes will be a short talk.</p>
<p>He will only have to tell him ‘<em>hey dude, I’m still in, let’s go</em>’ and then… Jeongin stands up straight like he was stung by a scorpion. What if Chan decided against it after all? He didn’t seem like it in the hallway, but what <em>if</em>?</p>
<p>Maybe he realized he doesn’t want to sleep with someone like Jeongin. Someone who wears unwashed Supernatural merch and smells like the high-end shampoo <em>his mom</em> got him. Jeongin eyes himself in the mirror nailed to the door of his closet. He’s been neglecting going to the gym this semester but there’s still some tone to his muscle.</p>
<p>Actually, he’s quite happy his abs aren’t as prominent anymore, liking his torso much better with a little softness around his waist and over his tummy. He combs his fingers through his hair and tilts his head, trying to tell himself that the little acne scars on his shoulders will be the reason Chan pulled out after all. The splotchy way his beard grows in every few months, as if Jeongin never left the early stages of puberty.</p>
<p>Insecurity washes over him in a giant wave and he rips the closet door open to not have to see the way it pulls at his skin and makes his expression look bitter. He doesn’t feel nearly half as enthusiastic anymore when he scans over his clothing, wondering if he should even bother going over to-</p>
<p>Jeongin’s eyes fall on a simple navy shirt with orange printing. Just that it isn’t quite <em>that </em>simple. He picks it up and unfolds it, the crinkles left behind clearly indicating it hasn’t been worn in a while. On the front, the logo of a swimming club is printed and when Jeongin turns it around, Chan’s name decorates the whole back.</p>
<p>He remembers when Chan went through his clothes before moving out of his parents’ place, Jeongin there to help him. The older was ready to throw the shirt on the donation pile but Jeongin grabbed it and put it on the small pile of clothes he sneaked for himself.</p>
<p>‘<em>Memories</em>’ he said back then, when Chan sent him a confused look. ‘<em>I remember when we became friends you were wearing this shirt like every day.</em>’</p>
<p><em>‘You’re so sappy,</em>’ Chan had replied, but the flush in his cheeks and smile on his lips told a different story.</p>
<p>Jeongin looks very cosy in the outfit when he looks at himself. It wouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary for any other night, or with any other friend. But for him it’s clear whose name he has written all over himself, quite literally on his back.</p>
<p>Before he can think better of it and change at least the shirt, Jeongin’s phone vibrates from his bed with a message from Chan telling him he can come over, and Jeongin is distracted by nerves once more, suddenly much more important thoughts on his mind than what he’s wearing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>🍒</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chan has to run a lap around his apartment after sending the message that he is ready for Jeongin to come over. He has a pretty realistic grasp on what to expect if Jeongin storming out of his apartment earlier is any sign to go by.</p>
<p>On top of that, he’s very sure of his <em>own </em>stance on the matter, he wouldn’t have proposed it in the first place otherwise. Still, there’s a lingering nervous tension in the air that only seems to pull tighter the more seconds go by after the text is sent.</p>
<p>He’s just about to grab his phone to check for a reply, when it knocks on the door, and Chan promptly stumbles over his own feet trying to reach it as soon as possible. He’s a little out of breath when he grasps the handle, so he tries to calm himself for a few moments before opening the door.</p>
<p>He did not expect to immediately get all air stolen from him again, but apparently Jeongin is full of surprises.</p>
<p>The thing that makes Chan feel the most out of his mind isn’t the way his hair is soft and fluffy after a shower, or how he looks at Chan with flushed cheeks and wide eyes. No, it’s the logo of his old swimming team blinking up at him from Jeongin’s chest and the knowledge of what he’ll see as soon as the younger passes him on his way inside.</p>
<p>They greet slightly awkwardly and when Jeongin walks in – Chan closing the door behind him – it’s an even worse sight than the older could’ve ever imagined. In big, bold orange letters it says <em>his own </em>name on Jeongin’s back.</p>
<p>He hasn’t seen it in years and that Jeongin is wearing it now is almost a little too performant to be coincidental. When the younger starts up some small talk by asking about his class, Chan has trouble to find the right words at first and it takes until they’re both sitting next to each other on the couch, with Fixer Upper running in the back, that he feels like he can think even close to clearly again.</p>
<p>Jeongin is obviously nervous, Chan can see it in the way he is fiddling with the hem of the shirt and from how his eyes keep snapping from his lap to the TV and then to Chan, before quickly restarting the cycle.</p>
<p>It might be one of his biggest flaws as much as it is a blessing, but Chan immediately tries to relax into the couch as much as he can, leaning his head against the back of it to be able to look up at Jeongin, before grazing his fingers over his shoulders ever so softly.</p>
<p>At first, Jeongin tenses up a little, the pink in his cheeks darkening before he relaxes into it, eventually even dropping his head forward to give Chan more space to trace random lines on.</p>
<p>“I’m a little stiff,” he even mumbles after a bit, and Chan giggles at the hidden clue, sitting up some more so he can really dig his fingers into the knots in Jeongin’s neck muscles. They stay like this for a few seconds, but Chan can basically feel the way words are bubbling under Jeongin’s skin, ready to burst out any second.</p>
<p>He allows them to simmer, his fingers and attention never leaving Jeongin as expectations and hope build up for no reason other than the newness of the situation they’re in. Jeongin clears his throat when he’s ready, giving Chan a moment to collect himself.</p>
<p>His words come out as a whisper, but Chan is close enough to hear each syllable clearly. “I want to do it,” Jeongin says softly. “I want us to be… you know... friends with benefits.” He turns his head then, to finally look at Chan. “Is that still okay for you?”</p>
<p>Chan drops one of his hands and softly brings his other one up to cup the back of Jeongin’s neck. “I also still want it,” he replies with a smile. “Thank you for trusting me.”</p>
<p>Huffing, Jeongin crosses his arms in front of his chest. “I trust you more than anyone else probably. Maybe even more than Seungmin.” He laughs nervously and Chan drops his head to his arm on the back of the couch to be a little closer to the other, giving him even more comfort. “But the difference between you guys is that I want to sleep with you.”</p>
<p>His heart is beating violently in his chest, but Chan hopes it isn’t too palpable through his fingertips on Jeongin’s skin. “I feel honoured,” he jokes. “But we don’t have to rush anything, okay? We can just see where things take us.”</p>
<p>Tension leaves Jeongin’s body and he sighs in relief. “Is it weird that I don’t feel any different?” He asks with earnest curiosity, looking at Chan out of the corners of his eyes.</p>
<p>The older ponders over it for a few moments. He doesn’t feel that different either. Only when he thinks of what’s to come, what <em>could </em>be coming. He tries to imagine this soft, vulnerable Jeongin in his bed, or even on this very couch, naked and wanting him and he finds that he <em>can’t</em>. But it doesn’t make him feel any different in his decision.</p>
<p>“I think it’s good that we still feel the same as before, right? Shows that we’re still the same friends, just that we now can kiss and stuff… which kind of freaks me out right now.” Maybe he’s a little too honest, especially since he’s he the one who should be giving directions and come off as secure, but Jeongin doesn’t seem to mind when he lets himself fall back against the couch.</p>
<p>“Thank the <em>gods </em>you think so too,” he exclaims loudly. “I was wondering if you’d like, immediately get to it now and I was ready to scream.” He takes a pause then, looking at Chan from under his lashes. “You’re right, we got time. We can take as much time as we need.”</p>
<p>Chan nods, eyeing the TV for a few moments and wondering why they would choose that flooring for the house. He can see Jeongin is immersed in their favourite show as well when he looks back at him, and it fills him with comfort to know that they’re still the same in the way that they can just exist next to each other.</p>
<p>“There’s one more thing we should talk about, if you’re up for it…” Chan mumbles, his cheeks feeling hot at interrupting the delicate air between them. Raising his brows, Jeongin urges him on with a curious noise. “I, <em>uh</em>, you know… I try to get tested after I sleep with someone so like, you know… I always use condoms when I go all the way anyway, but I still think we should figure out if we want to use them for other stuff too like, <em>uhmm</em>, handjobs? Blowjobs? Stuff like that, <em>haha</em>, if you want those…”</p>
<p>“<em>Oh gods</em>,” Jeongin whines, clasping a hand over his face and curling in on himself. “I can’t believe you’re this fucking endearing when you’re stumbling over your words asking me if I want to use condoms.”</p>
<p>Chan lets out a panicked laugh, bringing his own knees up to his chest to curl up on the other side of the couch, in equal embarrassment. “It’s important, okay?” He argues, before laughing out of panic once more. “You should <em>always </em>use condoms with people you don’t know, but since it’s <em>us </em>I want to… to throw the possibility out there that we don’t <em>have </em>to.”</p>
<p>He can feel Jeongin’s foot kick at his shin a little, the couch wiggling as he squeals in his balled-up state. “I <em>hate </em>that this is so embarrassing,” Jeongin whines cutely, before taking a few deep breaths. “I think condoms are a yes for… the real thing, you know? But… oh <em>gods</em>… I don’t really think I want to have a-a condom in my mouth, so if that’s <em>uh </em>okay for you, we don’t have to when we… you know?”</p>
<p>Chan nods into his palms, only belatedly realizing Jeongin won’t be able to see from his position across the couch. “Yes absolutely, love that, thank you for the talk,” he brabbles, suddenly sitting up straight. “I will make us popcorn now and you will not be able to stop me.”</p>
<p>“No, please do,” Jeongin replies a little too quickly. “Please get out of here, you absolute <em>dork</em>.”</p>
<p>Never has Chan fled the living room faster than now, simply so he can jump in a circle around himself in the kitchen. Technically Jeongin could still be able to see him in the open space of the apartment, but Chan simply can’t keep his excitement – and to be fair also his nerves – inside.</p>
<p>He manages to calm down surprisingly well while making a bowl of popcorn for them, only some buzz left under his skin when he tries to come up with a timeline for them. Not an obligatory one, just a means to calm his mind. When will they kiss? Cuddle? When will he be able to see the Jeongin he couldn’t picture in his head earlier right with his own eyes?</p>
<p>He gives himself two months and Jeongin one, but again. <em>Not obligatory</em>. Chan will make sure for them not to rush anything, but he certainly wouldn’t fight against nature taking its course if it would so happen anytime sooner.</p>
<p>He feels like he might have hit the nail on the head with that thought when he returns to the living room to find Jeongin spread out on his stomach on the couch. Chan’s name is proudly visible on his back, the fabric of the shirt pushed up over his waist and revealing his lower back.</p>
<p>It makes the older feel little restraint to just jump Jeongin then and there. But he’s way too responsible for that, so he clears his throat and watches as Jeongin shuffles to the side to make space for him.</p>
<p>“There’s a new movie on Netflix we could watch if you want to?” He asks, holding his phone out for Chan to read the summary. His eyes skim over the words but no meaning sticks, so Chan just nods and smiles, putting down the bowl before falling onto the couch.</p>
<p>“Can I borrow that jacket? I’m a little cold…” Jeongin asks as they wait for the TV to load, pointing at Chan’s oversized jacket that is hanging over the side of the couch and Chan hands it to him naturally, feeling all kinds of happy watching Jeongin shuffle it on.</p>
<p>The movie turns out to be some sort of thriller that makes Chan flinch and Jeongin laugh at the plot holes. The older ends up clinging to Jeongin’s side about halfway through, needing some sort of physical reassurance to be able to tell himself that the happenings of the movie are much too unrealistic to ever happen to him.</p>
<p>He can feel the way Jeongin’s head turns to him whenever Chan would wince at something happening on screen, the way he keeps gravitating closer too, even if just to give his friend some grounding and comfort.</p>
<p>Jeongin drops his head to rest halfway against the cushions and halfway on Chan’s shoulder after a few more minutes, but his eyes aren’t on the movie anymore. Chan can feel them trickle over his skin, can taste the air and he <em>knows </em>what this feeling under his skin means. Knows what it leads to.</p>
<p>He has all the power to stop it, especially when he goes over the timeline that he made for them, kissing only happening about a week into their arrangement, at earliest after three days.</p>
<p>He has the power to, but he <em>doesn’t</em> stop it.</p>
<p>Instead, he turns his head to meet Jeongin’s gaze, his breath fanning shakily over the other’s skin but not deterring him, not making him pull back. Jeongin’s lashes are long from this close, and they flutter with each movement of his eyes that go up and down, from Chan’s eyes to his lips and back.</p>
<p>Even if he wanted to, Chan doubts he <em>could</em> stop it from happening, when Jeongin moves forward in a swift and easy movement to peck him on the mouth. That’s all it is, really. Just a short touch of lips before he retreats again.</p>
<p>Chan opens his eyes – he didn’t even realize he closed them – and it’s his turn to do the game of up and down between Jeongin’s eyes and mouth.</p>
<p>“Are you drunk again?” He whispers and it’s only half joking. He remembers the night after the party, when Jeongin was so eager for a kiss. He remembers the Jeongin from earlier, that blushed at the pure idea of them doing it. But now they <em>did</em> do it, and Chan really wants to repeat it sooner rather than later.</p>
<p>“I’m not,” Jeongin answers with a shake of his head and a playful glint in his eyes. “I know exactly what I’m doing.”</p>
<p>Chan licks his lips slowly and he can see the way Jeongin’s lips flutter open at the sight. “Oh, do you now? Isn’t our whole friends with benefits situation so you learn to know what you’re doing?”</p>
<p>A small gasp leaves Jeongin. “It’s far more than that,” he whispers, before sitting up confidently. “Now shut up and kiss me again, will you?”</p>
<p>And how could Chan say no to that?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>🍒</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Having someone to kiss turns out to be something Jeongin missed from his life prior to doing it with Chan. Maybe he can now understand why the older seeks out random people at parties to make out with, though he thinks the way they do it is much better.</p>
<p>Jeongin will come home after class and like he usually would, Chan comes over after a bit with snacks and his own notes to revise. But instead of going through half an existential crisis every twenty minutes or so, Jeongin would end up in Chan’s lap, or the older on his chest and they’d kiss. Simple as that.</p>
<p>It’s great, lovely, wonderful, and maybe Jeongin is a tiny bit greedy but after a few days of their newly found dynamic going <em>great</em>, he realizes he wants to try doing more. Even if it would just be a bit filthier a kiss, a little hair pulling, some grinding, <em>anything</em>. He doesn’t even care that he’s being greedy.</p>
<p>But Chan is Chan, responsible and cautious not to go too far and every time Jeongin will <em>attempt</em> to deepen a kiss or try to get his hands under Chan’s shirt, the older will pull back breathlessly with widened pupils and find an excuse for them to part.</p>
<p>It’s more than a little infuriating and after a lot of watching YouTube videos on flirting, reading articles on how to get to third base, and listening to paragraphs of useless advice from Seungmin, Jeongin decides to pull out the big arms during a meet-up at Jisung’s and Changbin’s place.</p>
<p>He knows Chan went there directly after work, so he doesn’t have to worry of hiding his plan on the way to the meet-up. It feels a little over the top, given that they’ll just be eating and playing games, but at the same time Jeongin feels <em>confident</em>.</p>
<p>He’s wearing tight black jeans and a slightly cropped black shirt that reveals a slither of skin above his belt, which has silver chains hanging off of it that accentuate the necklaces around his neck and the rings on his fingers.</p>
<p>The surprising centrepiece of the outfit however is Chan’s jacket that he borrowed on the day they first kissed. Jeongin went home with it that day and hasn’t returned it since. He makes sure to open it as he waits for someone to open him the door, sliding some of the fabric off of his shoulder just so it seems even more oversized.</p>
<p>When the door opens, Jeongin is almost disappointed that it isn’t Chan who greets him, but Seungmin, who gives him an assessing onceover.</p>
<p>“You look like you came here for dick, not for games and fast food,” he offers instead of a greeting and Jeongin blushes crimson.</p>
<p>“Hello to you too I guess,” Jeongin replies, poking his tongue out at his friend when he walks in. Making sure no one else is close he bends closer to him then. “Maybe that’s not wrong though, who knows?”</p>
<p>Seungmin makes a fake gagging motion. “Disgusting. Remind me to never invite you two over at the same time, I do not want my place <em>defiled</em>,” he says, holding Jeongin back by the shoulder when he attempts to escape to the living area. “I thought you two didn’t go that far yet though? Did so much change overnight?”</p>
<p>For a second, Jeongin regrets confiding every single one of his secrets to Seungmin, but he sees the honest care and love in his eyes and immediately feels softer. “Nothing changed <em>yet</em>. However, if my plan works…” He points at his outfit. “I’m hoping to get closer to <em>something</em> of the kind.”</p>
<p>Sighing, Seungmin shakes his head and finally ushers Jeongin forward. “Then I hope it will work in your favour…”</p>
<p>When they come into the living room, Changbin, Jisung and Chan are already immersed in a heated round of Mario Kart Wii, one of the controllers discarded on the couch where Seungmin must’ve left the race to invite Jeongin in.</p>
<p>Jisung grants Jeongin half a second of a greeting before screaming out when Changbin throws a bomb at him in-game. With a victorious sound, Changbin turns around for a second and yells a quick hello at the newly arrived.</p>
<p>Chan is almost too immersed in the game to even realize Jeongin came in, but the youngest’s voice ringing through the room with a snarky remark about multitasking makes him turn around for what should be a quick greeting.</p>
<p>When his gaze lands on Jeongin however, he drops the controller along with his jaw, eyes raking up Jeongin’s form in slow-motion.</p>
<p>“<em>Channieee</em>, it’s no fun when you’re not playing either,” Jisung whines when he uses the bullet item and has a few seconds to speak. With a high squeal, Chan turns to the TV again and grabs the controller in a desperate try to catch up.</p>
<p>Rolling his eyes, Seungmin climbs over the back of the couch and pats the space next to him, the three others sitting on piles of pillows on the floor. Jeongin feels weirdly hot after having seen Chan’s reaction, but he tries to concentrate on the matter at hand for a bit, namely riling up Changbin when he loses and then kicking everyone’s asses in the next round.</p>
<p>With a triumphant expression he hops off the couch again afterwards. “You peasants can continue, I’m going to grab something to drink,” he says, already turning to the kitchen when he hears shuffling from the floor.</p>
<p>“Wait I need a refill,” Chan says, grabbing his glass and jogging up to Jeongin with an easy smile on his lips. Jisung and Changbin ignore them for the sake of choosing the next game, but when Jeongin looks back for a split second, he sees Seungmin make a <em>very </em>inappropriate hand gesture in his direction.</p>
<p>Flipping him the finger, Jeongin acts like nothing happened when Chan looks at him in question. They stay quiet for the few steps into the kitchen and Jeongin nearly forgets about his grand scheme until all of a sudden, he is pressed up against the fridge, Chan’s glass discarded on one of the counters.</p>
<p>“So <em>there’s</em> my jacket,” the older says, looking down between them before raising a brow at Jeongin. “I was wondering where it went…”</p>
<p>Jeongin swallows his nerves and arches his back off of the fridge, pulling the jacket open to reveal his crop top underneath. “Oh <em>no</em>,” he plays it up. “I must’ve forgotten to give it back to you, how <em>silly</em> of me…”</p>
<p>There’s a moment where he worries that Chan will pull away and go back to soft smiles and caution like he did at any moment where things heated up between them, but instead he’s being surprised by the older lunging forward eager enough to rattle the fridge.</p>
<p>Jeongin sucks in a sharp breath of air right before soft lips press against his, Chan’s body touching him <em>everywhere</em> in a way that is intent and much more unhinged than it has ever been. He can distantly feel the way his fingers are trembling when he grazes them over Chan’s back gently, before pulling at the fabric and crinkling it in his grip.</p>
<p>Chan gasps into the kiss, making them stop, but he doesn’t pull back. He keeps breathing in the same air as Jeongin, the heat of their bodies mixing and then, as if a wall breaks between them, he takes one hand off of the fridge where he’s caging Jeongin in, and brings it to the younger’s hip, slowly crawling upwards.</p>
<p>A tiny, embarrassing noise makes it out of Jeongin’s throat, but it’s swallowed when Chan dives in again, this time with no restraint left. He clearly knows what he’s doing when he tilts Jeongin’s head right as his fingers dip under his shirt and into the soft skin of his waist, making him gasp and allow Chan to touch his tongue to Jeongin’s.</p>
<p>It feels like the heat in the room was turned up, or like Jeongin is burning up from the inside out. He wants to touch Chan’s skin too, loving the way his cold fingers are so clearly palpable on him, like he’s doing much more than just holding him by the waist.</p>
<p>He wants <em>more</em>. Wants Chan to truly grip him there and pull him forward until there will be no air left between their bodies, until their searing heat will melt together and be even more fiery. Jeongin never really thought of kissing, touching like this as something so <em>sensual</em>, as something that could make him feel so much and yet he hopes it will never end.</p>
<p>He adores the way Chan’s muscles move under his fingers, the way he can taste him, smell him, as if he’s being surrounded by nothing but Chan and will eventually drown in him. Jeongin wonders if it’s the same the other way around, or if the older is used to this because he has done it many times before. It makes him laugh into the kiss because he doubts that he will <em>ever </em>get used to it, but they don’t disconnect.</p>
<p>Chan’s tongue is rougher than he expected. Jeongin only has one more experience to compare it to that was completely shy and barely more than experimental touches, but Chan goes in like he knows <em>exactly</em> what Jeongin will like. As if he can’t hold himself back because he feels that <em>good</em>.</p>
<p>The fridge hums in the background and their tongues make these strange wet sounds and Jeongin hopes he is even doing <em>something</em>. Because he’s not thinking about it one bit, only lets his body go with the flow, go with what Chan is giving him.</p>
<p>“Oh my <em>god</em>, Jisung! You need to see this!” Is what interrupts them and they drive apart in shock, the surroundings of their friends’ apartment only coming back to them then. Changbin is standing in the door with an empty glass in his hand and his jaw dropped to the floor.</p>
<p>Jisung comes up behind him in barely more than three seconds and Jeongin can feel the way Chan drops his head to his shoulder in defeat, not even moving to pull away, simply accepting his fate. Jeongin’s lips are tingling and wet, and he wonders if he looks half as much a mess as he feels.</p>
<p>Behind Jisung – whose eyes widen like dinner plates – Seungmin comes up and shrugs. “<em>Whoops</em>, I guess I couldn’t stop Changbin…”</p>
<p>Jeongin sighs and drops his head back against the fridge. He can feel Chan’s chest rumble with quiet laughter, and he can’t help but grin too. Their friends are still standing in the doorway, watching the scene with a dozen questions on their faces, but they stay quiet.</p>
<p>Taking a deep breath, Chan pushes himself off of Jeongin, but before he’s out of reach he dips down next to his head. The words he whispers make Jeongin’s toes curl and his heart hammer hard enough to echo in his ears.</p>
<p>“We should continue this later. You look incredible.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>🍒</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To say that the atmosphere in Changbin's and Jisung's apartment is awkward after the unfortunate walking in would be a giant understatement. It takes minutes for Chan to stammer out an explanation while Jeongin hides behind his hands, and in the end Seungmin has to get into blatant detail of <em>not boyfriends just fuckfriends </em>for Jisung and Changbin to truly get it.</p>
<p>Afterwards, it feels similar to that time Seungmin and Jeongin were out with Jisung and came back with him, only to find Changbin railing their landlord in the middle of the living room. Their fifty-year-old, mother of three, recently divorced, cougar of a landlord. Just that now the reactions are a little more respectful but nonetheless questioning.</p>
<p>Jeongin feels exhausted when he finally leaves with Chan trailing next to him, but as if taking an espresso shot, feeling eyes on him the whole walk home – oh joy of living close to your friends – makes him feel energized and on edge in the best way.</p>
<p>As soon as they reach their hallway, all those exhilarating feelings seem to explode when Chan presses him up against the wall and kisses him breathless.</p>
<p>“Wanna come back to my place?” He asks after barely having pulled back, a string of spit connecting their lips.</p>
<p>“Yes, yes please,” Jeongin replies hastily, pushing Chan off and towards his door where he has to fumble with his keys for <em>way </em>too long, giggling when he misses the lock. Jeongin fondly rolls his eyes at him, wanting so badly to just lunge forward and get his lips back on his friend, but by some miraculous power he manages to restrain himself.</p>
<p>He even pulls his shoes off all orderly in the entryway and waits for Chan to do the same. Afterwards, the older drops down on the couch with a heavy sigh leaving his lips, his legs spread and if Jeongin drools just a little, that’s his problem only.</p>
<p>To make matters <em>worse</em>, Chan pats his thighs in invitation for Jeongin and it makes him feel more than weak in the knees. Distantly, he remembers one of the videos he watched on flirting, and he tries to follow along to what the creator said. Taking deliberate, long steps. Slowly taking off Chan’s jacket and discarding it over the arm of the couch.</p>
<p>Chan's lips are parted as he watches Jeongin like he’s the centre of the universe, his tongue poking out just so. Jeongin dips his fingers into his belt and tries to open it smoothly but fails miserably and Chan smiles, giggles a little, but not to ridicule him.</p>
<p>Jeongin feels blushy and a little embarrassed, out of his element, but most of all he feels <em>safe</em>. He drops his belt right in front of Chan and takes his outstretched hands to be guided down onto his lap, knees cushioned on the couch and legs spread wide to accommodate Chan’s position.</p>
<p>The older looks up at him in pure awe, his hands reaching out to grip Jeongin’s waist under his short top. It makes him gasp and arch into the touch, trying to memorise the way Chan's hands feel on him, how cold the very tips of his fingers are but it still feels like they’re burning their shape into his skin.</p>
<p>“You could’ve just told me you want more,” Chan says with a smile that makes Jeongin feel even more embarrassed. “Though I do appreciate the effort you put in to dress up for me.”</p>
<p>“I’ve been trying to tell you,” Jeongin mutters with a breathy voice. “But every time you pulled away or found an excuse to leave.”</p>
<p>Sitting up a bit straighter, Chan pulls Jeongin forward until they’re pressed together. “I didn’t want to go too fast.” His voice is rougher than usual, and it sends delicious shivers down Jeongin’s spine.</p>
<p>Swallowing his nerves, the younger bends down until his face is hovering above Chan’s. “Maybe I want it fast...” He expects Chan to maybe fluster a little, or to snap and throw him onto his back and go to town, even though that is more of a hopeless dream than an expectation.</p>
<p>On the complete opposite of that, Chan throws his head back and erupts in a wave of giggles that Jeongin can feel reverberate through his whole body. He huffs and shakes Chan’s shoulders in frustration.</p>
<p>“Don’t laugh at <em>meeee</em>,” he whines and Chan only giggles more from it, dropping his head forward to bury it in Jeongin’s neck.</p>
<p>“I’m not, I’m not,” he giggles here, clearly trying to collect himself before pulling back to look up at Jeongin. “What you said just...” He breaks out into more laughter and Jeongin kind of wants to scream in frustration.</p>
<p>Jeongin pouts and furrows his brows. “What about it?”</p>
<p>“<em>Maybe I want it fast</em>,” Chan quotes him and Jeongin feels his cheeks burn. He really said that? “So you want me to do it fast? Want me to give it to you <em>really</em> good and fast?”</p>
<p>Thrashing in his hold, Jeongin tries to break free but Chan wraps his arms around him completely to keep him locked in place and it does <em>things </em>to Jeongin, stirring something deep in his middle. “I-I didn’t mean it like that... you know what I meant...” he mumbles, averting his eyes.</p>
<p>One of Chan's hands comes to push his face forward again, holding Jeongin’s chin steady. “I know you didn’t, but you’re cute when you’re flustered,” he says softly and Jeongin has to take a deep, shuddering breath to calm himself. “And we can do a little more if you want to...”</p>
<p>Shyly nodding, Jeongin realizes he won’t be able to escape Chan’s hold on him, so as a last refuge he moves his head forward until his lips meet the other’s. It starts out soft like most of their kisses go, but Chan stays true to his words and does <em>more</em>, deepening the kiss and running his hands up intently on Jeongin’s body, one going higher up his back and the other tangling into his hair.</p>
<p>The only time they did this before was a few hours earlier in their friends' kitchen, but Jeongin already feels like he knows a little more, like he can freely press his tongue up to Chan’s and make him feel just as intensely as he does himself.</p>
<p>The angle is different too, Chan’s head arched upwards and it gives Jeongin more free reign to try things out, to see how it feels to push his tongue deeper, to forgo swallowing his spit in favour of seeing how it will taste in Chan’s mouth.</p>
<p>Hours could pass and he wouldn’t notice if it wasn’t for the combination of making out and having fingers on his skin burning him up from the inside, blood rushing everywhere but to his fingertips where they’re plucking at Chan’s shirt on his shoulders, or to his legs where they’re shaking from holding him up.</p>
<p>Chan alleviates him of that struggle just shortly after, using his strength to force Jeongin down on him with his full weight, a groan accompanying the move as if to say <em>I can take it </em>or <em>you weigh nothing</em> and Jeongin whines into the kiss desperately.</p>
<p>He’s half hard, his tight pants prohibiting anything more, but from the way he’s now completely blanketing Chan he knows the other will be able to feel it. It makes Jeongin feel a little breathless, a tiny bit embarrassed even, but much to his surprise he can feel something <em>hard </em>press right against him when Chan shifts just a little.</p>
<p>All on its own, Jeongin’s body answers the heat calling him forward with a small rut of his hips, making both of them moan out in unison and break apart with spit-slick lips and red cheeks. Their foreheads press together, breaths mingling into one between their faces.</p>
<p>Chan drops his hands to Jeongin’s thighs and the younger whines at the loss of touch, making Chan smile fondly before pressing his palms down on Jeongin’s legs, slowly pushing them up and around his hips until he can grab his ass and spur another grinding motion into existence.</p>
<p>Sighing, Jeongin follows the small thrusts Chan guides him into, soon feeling the way it <em>stings </em>because of his tight confines every time he grazes over Chan’s hard cock. With shaking fingers, he reaches between them as best as he can, to pop his button and unzip his pants to get <em>some </em>space.</p>
<p>He doesn’t want Chan to stop, but because he apparently likes to torture Jeongin, he does, using his hands to push the younger backwards until there’s way too much distance between them for Jeongin’s liking.</p>
<p>Before he can protest however, Chan’s fingers come to aid Jeongin as he opens his pants and with a confident move, he dips them under his waistband to reach for his cock. He barely holds it in his palm, only really touching it to pull it free, but Jeongin can’t help but moan and buck up into the touch, making Chan smile at him softly.</p>
<p>He wraps his hand tighter around Jeongin in response, just so moving so he can pull down his foreskin and give him the bare minimum of friction. Jeongin drops his head back between his shoulder blades, flushing at the thought of Chan not only touching, but also <em>seeing </em>him, fully clothed except for his cock out. It’s ridiculously arousing.</p>
<p>In small movements he ruts into Chan’s grip, spurred on my moans and soft noises leaving the older.</p>
<p>“Do you-" he utters gently, choking off when Jeongin lowers his head to look at him through heavy lids. “Do you want to touch me too?”</p>
<p>Jeongin’s heart never beat this fast before and he moans weakly before nodding, glad that Chan stops moving his hand for a second so Jeongin can fumble with his button and zipper. The younger can feel the pure heat through the fabric, and he feels a little ashamed when his erection <em>throbs</em> when he finally pulls Chan’s boxers down a little and slips his cock out.</p>
<p>His hold on Chan is weak, barely a graze of his fingers before Jeongin pulls back with a squeal and hides behind his hands. He feels out of his mind from arousal, harder and hornier than he ever was before.</p>
<p>“<em>Fuckfuckfuck</em>, that’s a penis, that’s a dick, oh my <em>gosh</em>,” he blabbers, gasping when Chan’s grip leaves him to pull Jeongin’s arms away from hiding his face.</p>
<p>It’s a mistake that Jeongin opens his eyes, because his best friend is looking up at him with a cocky smirk, eyes travelling between his cock and Jeongin’s face as he wraps a hand around himself and gives a few lazy tugs.</p>
<p>“Is it ugly or something?” He asks with a shiteating glint in his eyes and Jeongin can’t help but groan before shaking his head. Softly, he plucks at Chan’s free hand and leads it to his own cock again, sighing in relief when the older wraps his hand around it immediately.</p>
<p>“N-no that’s not it,” he answers, feeling drool collect on his tongue when he can’t take his eyes away from Chan’s middle. Carefully, he mirrors the older and wraps his hand around him until Chan drops his own, to give Jeongin free reign. “I just... I never touched someone there and <em>fuck</em> I’m already so stupidly close...”</p>
<p>Confidently, Chan flicks his wrist to spread some of Jeongin’s wetness over his head. “Then let’s do something about that, shall we?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>🍒</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That evening, dams break down in Chan and his complete flood of wanting and affection is unloaded on Jeongin without further warning. The younger doesn’t notice it immediately, not even the next day because they are both busy finishing assignments for uni, but once those are done Jeongin gets a first taste of it, and he can’t quite get enough.</p>
<p>Evenings spent watching Fixer Upper turn to make-out sessions and grinding that has Jeongin ruin two pairs of pants. Even when they’re out with Seungmin or Jisung, Chan will grab Jeongin and pull him in for a hug as soon as the others aren’t watching, press kisses to his neck and giggle like an idiot when Jeongin flushes pink like a strawberry.</p>
<p>It comes to a point where Chan kicks Changbin out after dinner, despite having plans to play games afterwards, to push Jeongin down on his bed, his eyes dark and devouring every inch of his body. Jeongin would feel bad for Changbin, but he can’t bring himself to when Chan drapes himself over him.</p>
<p>“Do you only dress up to rile me up these days?” The older asks with that rough voice that only comes out when he’s really, <em>really </em>needy.</p>
<p>Grinning, Jeongin shakes his head and tries to play coy, even though he definitely unbuttoned his shirt a little further than he usually would, just to make Chan lose his mind. “I just like feeling pretty,” he says cutely.</p>
<p>Chan kisses him deeply for a few seconds before pulling back and slowly descending backwards, lips dragging over Jeongin’s jaw, down his neck and over his windpipe, making his breath hitch and stutter in his throat.</p>
<p>“I can show you how pretty I think you are,” Chan mouth against his collar bone. “I can make you feel it if you want to…”</p>
<p>Jeongin has gotten better at using his words, but with Chan’s lips on his skin and those words whispered so seductively, he can’t get his tongue to cooperate with him, so he resolves to nodding quickly and burying one hand in Chan’s hair, the other coming to rest on his shoulder.</p>
<p>He can feel Chan’s lips stretch into a smile before he scoots lower painfully slowly, using his lips and teeth to undo the next button of Jeongin’s shirt and slowly making his way down like this. He presses fleeting kisses along the way, in the middle of Jeongin’s chest, on his belly button and the soft skin of his stomach, until he reaches his waistband.</p>
<p>Chan sits up for only the fraction of a moment it takes him to shuffle Jeongin’s pants down, who thankfully has enough brainpower left to lift his hips to make it a little easier. His hand curls tighter into Chan’s hair when he lays back down and mouths along the outline of his cock through his briefs, the other quickly pulled up to drape over his eyes and hide a good part of Jeongin’s face.</p>
<p>“This okay?” Chan asks, looking up at him which Jeongin can only feel in the way his chin presses down over his bulge.</p>
<p>Nodding, he peeks out from under his arm, nearly whimpering when he sees Chan looking ready to eat him up right then and there. “Y-yeah, very okay… very cute and hot. You’re cute and hot. Okay go on,” he brabbles, hating the way he can never find words when he’s like this.</p>
<p>Chan doesn’t seem to mind however, and he dips down again right after, opening his mouth to lick a stripe over Jeongin’s underwear, the feeling wet and hot and so unusual. The younger curls his fingers against Chan’s scalp, making him gasp against him.</p>
<p>“Isn’t that all… fuzzy on your tongue?” Jeongin asks shyly and Chan pulls back, looking down at the dark, wet spot he left behind.</p>
<p>He shrugs cutely and giggles. “A little, but it’s hot too.” He gently works his fingers under the elastic. “Let’s get you out of this though.”</p>
<p>Shifting his hips up once more, Jeongin screws his eyes shut when the fabric is pulled off and his cock flops free, too embarrassed at being so revealed close to Chan’s face to keep watching him. Air hits him hotly, making his skin feel prickly and tingly and Jeongin’s mouth feels dry in anticipation.</p>
<p>He wondered how this would feel many, many times, knowing no matter how wet he would make his hand it would never come <em>close</em>. It turns out he underestimated just how good it would feel completely, when suddenly something wet drips onto his cock and then Chan’s tongue presses down wet and filthy in all the right ways.</p>
<p>Jeongin bucks up against the other’s face, his cock slipping over Chan’s tongue and sinful lips and he doesn’t even realize that his grip in the other’s hair tightens even more, keeping him pressed down. Chan moans against him and lets his mouth hang open for Jeongin to rut against experimentally.</p>
<p>It feels so unlike anything Jeongin ever felt before and the thought that he’s doing it with another person, with Chan of all people, sends a shiver down his spine. He drops his arm from his face and takes all his courage together to look down at the other.</p>
<p>He’s met with his eyes screwed shut in pleasure, brows furrowed and his lips even pinker and fuller than usually, completely wet as Jeongin’s cock – <em>Jeongin’s own cock </em>– presses through them in small grinding motions.</p>
<p>With a small squeal Jeongin stops all movements, blushing when Chan slowly blinks his eyes open in confusion.</p>
<p>“I-I,” he stammers, his free hand drumming against the mattress. “I think I’ll cum… like very soon. I’m sorry that it always happens so fast, I just-“</p>
<p>“Nono, none of that,” Chan shushes him at once. “You know how hot it is when you lose yourself in what feels good? That you’re coming at all from me is a giant compliment, so you coming easily is a whole ass ego boost and a half.”</p>
<p>Blushing, Jeongin drops his head back against the pillows. “Of course you’re making me cum,” he mumbles. “You’re always so soft and innocent and then you do <em>those </em>things and make me lose my mind.”</p>
<p>The reply Chan gives steals Jeongin’s breath away. “If it helps somehow, you make me lose my mind too.”</p>
<p>His eyes widen and his cock throbs. “W-what? How?”</p>
<p>Giggling, Chan presses a kiss to Jeongin’s tip. “You think you’re not good at these things because you’ve never done them, but you <em>are</em>. You’re so natural with it and I don’t think you realize that.”</p>
<p>Jeongin nods. “Yeah, I don’t… but thank you, I guess? Glad to be of service…” A panicked laugh leaves him right after and Chan chimes in for a second, before spontaneously grabbing Jeongin’s cock and guiding his tip into his mouth.</p>
<p>He slaps it against his tongue a few times and Jeongin throbs when he sees how Chan’s eyes roll back at the feeling.</p>
<p>“I really want to suck you off until you come down my throat,” the older whispers mindlessly, a wave of drool slipping over his plush bottom lip and onto Jeongin’s length.</p>
<p>“D-do it, I won’t stop you.” The younger hopes he sounds more confident than he feels, his heartbeat vibrating sharply on his tongue, in his throat and all throughout his insides. His fingers are trembling and his toes curling, his whole body pulled tight and only waiting to explode.</p>
<p>It takes a few more seconds until Chan finally shows mercy and closes his lips around Jeongin’s head. He moves his tongue in a way that Jeongin is sure comes with practice, but all he can think about is how incredibly <em>warm </em>it feels when Chan slowly but surely moves his head down, spit running past the seam of his lips and making the slide wonderfully slick.</p>
<p>Jeongin has realized he’s surprisingly vocal when he’s being touched, but right now his throat is completely choked up, no sound escaping when Chan begins to bob his head up and down. The younger never really thought about his size or how it would compare to someone else’s, but something in his chest fills up a little when he realizes Chan isn’t able to go down all the way.</p>
<p>Experimentally, Jeongin pulls a little harder on his hair and keeps him down on the next movement, watching as Chan’s eyes snap open and up at him, a hum from deep in his throat sending vibrations through Jeongin’s length.</p>
<p>“O-okay?” He asks still, just to make sure, and Chan pulls off until only the tip is left between his lips to nod.</p>
<p>With the next smooth downward movement, the older goes a little deeper and again Jeongin presses him down, his silent spell finally broken when he can feel his tip touch <em>something</em> in Chan’s mouth and a moan is torn from his throat.</p>
<p>Jeongin doesn’t know what exactly he’s chasing after, but a desperate whine escapes him and he lessens his grip on Chan’s hair only so he can start swivelling his hips, bucking them upwards into his friend’s willing mouth in small movements.</p>
<p>It makes slick, gurgly sounds light up the room, but Jeongin is much too gone to feel embarrassed about the noises, his only goal being that sweet sensation he can feel pull at his middle, making his uncoordinated movements even more frantic.</p>
<p>“I-I’m coming, c-coming, <em>Channie</em>,” he moans out right as he feels tears prick at his eyes, his toes curling into the bed.</p>
<p>With a strong grip, Chan presses Jeongin’s hips down to stop him from thrusting up, instead moving up and down on his own accord, while using his tongue as best as he can. A full body shudder runs through Jeongin right before his orgasm hits him, and Chan uses it to swallow him down as far as he can, drinking up every last drop of his release.</p>
<p>Jeongin misses the way Chan’s eyes flutter open to watch him, because he’s busy pressing his face into the pillow, but once his high subsides and the soft warmth of Chan’s mouth turns slightly uncomfortable, he pushes himself up on his elbows and prompts Chan to pull off by the hand in his hair.</p>
<p>As if to taunt him, the older licks his lips as he sits up and Jeongin groans, feeling heat tongue at his skin where he desperately wants to cool off. His mind soon is taken off of it when quick pecks are littered over his cheeks and Chan presses himself against him.</p>
<p>Jeongin can feel him press hard and heavy against his hip, so he carefully brings his trembling fingers down to press along the length of Chan’s cock, making him gasp against Jeongin’s skin. Chan recovers quickly and brings their lips together, opening his mouth for Jeongin to lick into and he expects the taste of himself to make him wince but instead only the familiarity of Chan’s mouth greets him.</p>
<p>He tries to move his hand as best as he can in the awkward angle, to give Chan <em>something</em>, and for a few minutes it seems to be enough for him to lazily lick into Jeongin’s mouth and grind against his palm, before he pulls back breathing heavily.</p>
<p>His eyes trace over Jeongin’s face as if he’s assessing him, but for what Jeongin doesn’t know, until the older opens his mouth.</p>
<p>“Do you maybe… want to suck me off too?”</p>
<p>Jeongin’s skin is burning and he nearly knees Chan in the balls with how quickly he sits up, nervously brushing his fingers through his hair as he opens his mouth a few times, trying to get the right words out. He <em>does </em>want to. But he’s also weirdly <em>scared</em>.</p>
<p>“You don’t have to of course, but I can like… guide you through it?” Chan says quickly, trying to calm Jeongin down because apparently he’s that easy to read.</p>
<p>Trying to appear a little less panicked, Jeongin sits up straighter and looks at Chan through his lashes. “I really want to try, but if it’s not good… tell me please?” His voice is quiet and a little shaky and Chan’s expression turns even softer.</p>
<p>“I’ll tell you, even though I know you’ll make me feel incredible.” He sounds so sure in it, like there’s no other way and it makes Jeongin move forward a little more easily, shuffling his shirt off before helping Chan out of his own, then watching as he pulls his pants off and settles back against the pillows.</p>
<p>Chan’s fingers are playing with his waistband as he waits for Jeongin to settle between his legs, his head cocked as if he himself isn’t quite sure how to proceed.</p>
<p>“Pull them off, Channie, I kind of need to… to get to your cock for this, right?” He asks rhetorically, running his palms up Chan’s legs. More quietly he adds, “besides that, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”</p>
<p>Grinning, Chan shakes his head. “You get your dick sucked once and suddenly it’s getting to your head, I see how it is,” he jokes, but follows Jeongin’s requests and pushes his underwear off too, his cock flopping onto his stomach with a small slapping sound.</p>
<p>Saliva fills Jeongin’s mouth for no reason and he has to gulp it down to not accidentally make a fool of himself. His hands come back to Chan’s legs, slowly dragging higher and he realizes that unlike the night after the party, Chan is shaved completely smooth in his pubic region.</p>
<p>It makes him feel a little flustered when he bends down and takes Chan’s cock into his hand, feeling it pulse and throb in his hold.</p>
<p>“O-okay,” Chan breaths, clearly already affected. “Just get into a comfortable position between my legs first and then… yeah…”</p>
<p>A bit awkwardly, Jeongin lowers himself onto his stomach and shuffles up, Chan bending his knees over his shoulders to accommodate him. Jeongin’s face is basically already right where it needs to be and he can smell Chan so intensely here, notes he couldn’t describe with words if forced to, just insanely arousing and delicious.</p>
<p>His mouth his wet, wet, <em>wet</em> when he presses kisses to Chan’s hip bone and where his thighs meet his torso, leaving tiny wet trails in his wake when he nips at the skin to taste it. Chan is smooth, but scruff still pricks Jeongin’s skin when he pushes Chan’s cock to the side and presses kisses around it, an especially delicate one on a tiny cut where the older must’ve scratched the skin during shaving.</p>
<p>The difference of texture when he finally presses his lips to Chan’s cock is indescribable, the skin so much hotter and smoother, feeling almost artificial in contrast to the roughness from before. Opening his trembling lips, Jeongin runs his tongue over the length, following the vein upwards.</p>
<p>“Y-you’re doing good, so fucking good, oh my-“ Chan cuts himself off by biting down on the back of his hand when Jeongin reaches the tip and traces his tongue around it once before dipping it through the slit. He doesn’t really <em>know </em>what he’s doing, but he doesn’t need to, can feel the way Chan’s body reacts and repeat the same motion again.</p>
<p>It tastes salty but not bad, surprisingly wet when another dribble of precum spurts from Chan’s tip, eagerly lapped up by Jeongin. He presses his tongue down flat on the head, feeling the other shiver beneath him, before opening his mouth wide and slowly guiding Chan’s cock inside.</p>
<p>Chan’s hands suddenly busy themselves in Jeongin’s hair, not pulling or pushing, but just holding on, probably more a means for himself than for the younger.</p>
<p>“D-don’t go too deep,” Chan moans out when Jeongin slowly begins to bob his head, trying to find an angle which will work easier. “J-just go slow like that, <em>fuck </em>yeah, just like that…”</p>
<p>Jeongin takes his time allowing more and more of Chan to be fed to him, just a hint more with every bob, concentrating more on sucking in and moving his tongue along. The more Chan fills him, the more mindless Jeongin feels, his eyes wet and his jaw starting to ache, but he finds that the feeling <em>delights </em>him.</p>
<p>He hums with a sudden burst of courage and swoops in lower, until he can feel Chan hit the back of his mouth but he doesn’t choke, tries to suck in a deep breath on the way up before repeating the motion, realizing he’s nearly swallowed Chan all the way.</p>
<p>His cock is hardening again, just from the feeling of having someone else’s in his mouth and it makes Jeongin’s eyes roll back when he starts to rut against the mattress in time with his movements. Drool is running over his fingers where he’s holding Chan up, his arms shaking with the way he’s so unused to the position, but he doesn’t mind the sting in his muscles.</p>
<p>With every minute passing he gets a little bolder, the motions less awkward and more natural, experimental when he sometimes cocks his head or swirls his tongue only to feel Chan’s reaction, gauge how he’s feeling from the sweet noises he lets out or the quivering of his legs over Jeongin’s shoulders.</p>
<p>“S-so good, you’re so good, how are you so good?” Chan begins to brabble after a bit, eyes glued to Jeongin’s face, watching every furrow of brows, every contortion of his lips. “So pretty. You look so pretty sucking my cock.”</p>
<p>Jeongin chokes on his spit from the compliment, heaving around Chan who thankfully pulls him off with a smooth motion, giggling and apologizing for distracting him. A wave of spit falls from Jeongin’s lips when he stops coughing and Chan reaches out to catch it, Jeongin immediately opening his mouth when fingers graze over his lips.</p>
<p>He sucks Chan’s fingers in completely, using his spit to jerk Chan off with his hand at the same time and the older drops his head, back arching off the mattress at the sudden rapid change in pace. Jeongin feels like he’s sixteen again with the way he’s grinding against the mattress to take the edge off of his own yearning, spurred on by knowing <em>he </em>is making Chan feel this good.</p>
<p>Impossibly so, Chan’s cock feels like it’s hardening even more right before he comes, and Chan pulls his fingers out of Jeongin’s mouth to pull his head forward right as it hits him, his other hand angling his cock so he can spurt rows of white over Jeongin’s face, some even landing in his hair.</p>
<p>Jeongin’s eyes are screwed shut and he feels some of it hit his lid, barely anything landing on his tongue where he’s poking it out. It tastes slightly bitter, not horrible but also not <em>great</em>, somehow still better than his own though.</p>
<p>Once Chan comes down, his spent cock flopping down on his stomach, he sits up and grabs a tissue from the box on his nightstand, giggling when Jeongin peeks out of one eye to watch him bring it to his face and clean his mess up.</p>
<p>“I really liked that,” Jeongin whispers when Chan finishes and sits up to throw the tissue away, his back to the younger. It doesn’t grant him a lot of secrecy when a smiling Chan comes flying up to him, curling around his back on the mattress. Jeongin is still hard, but he’s glad they’re ignoring it for now, for some reason feeling like this is important to talk about, an important step in their relationship.</p>
<p>“I’m glad you did, because I did too,” Chan agrees with a shy laugh, pressing kisses onto his shoulders.</p>
<p>“I think I want to do that a lot… like… I can imagine myself doing that a lot. With you.”</p>
<p>“With me, <em>hmm</em>?” Chan inquires teasingly. “Just with me?”</p>
<p>Jeongin huffs and fondly swats Chan’s arm where he has one wrapped around him. “Yes, just you. For now.”</p>
<p>It should probably be more awkward to lay naked and sticky in bed with your best friend, who you just did <em>that </em>with, but Jeongin only feels comfort and safety. Nowhere would be a better place to be than right there, in Chan’s arms with their breathing evening out and exhaustion pulling at their bodies.</p>
<p>Shuffling around, Chan even manages to snatch his duvet and pull it over them, mending tighter against Jeongin afterwards, his front pressed up against the other’s back. Jeongin can feel him there, sticky and soft right up against his ass and he throbs and <em>yearns</em>, even in his tired state.</p>
<p>“You know, Channie, you know,” he mumbles in that blissful state that comes right before sleep, where words are spoken so much more easily.</p>
<p>Chan hums softly and hooks his chin over Jeongin’s shoulder. “Yeah?”</p>
<p>“I think I really, really, <em>really </em>wanna try some stuff soon.” His voice drops to a whisper then. “Some stuff <em>there</em>, you know?”</p>
<p>He can feel Chan’s chest rumble with sleepy giggles. “We can do that, but just sleep for now. We got all the time in the world.”</p>
<p>Jeongin sighs happily and cuddles deeper into the bed, into Chan’s embrace. Minutes pass peacefully but he doesn’t find sleep yet. “Hey Chan?” He asks again and waits for another nod that comes a bit slower than before. “I have lube, you know? And a dildo… and even a douche… but I was too scared to use anything more than my fingers…”</p>
<p>Chan supresses a yawn and pulls the blanket up higher over them. “If you wan- if you wanna I can talk you through it sometime… You can explore on your own and I’m just there to guide a little, if you want…”</p>
<p>With burning cheeks, Jeongin nods. “I’d like that,” he whispers, but Chan doesn’t hear it anymore, already drifting off into blissful sleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>🍒</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jeongin feels out of his mind with need, completely torn apart from it and it hasn’t even been a day since he had Chan’s cock in his mouth. Fantasizing about it never had a chance to come close and now he wants to develop his newly found passion as soon has he can.</p>
<p>Patience is not Jeongin’s favourite game. He’s resting on Chan’s bed, head hanging over the edge and aggressively failing at beating the boss he had been stuck on for days in Genshin, but instead of his body using his overflow of horniness to translate it into gamer skill, he fails even worse than before.</p>
<p>Chan is sitting at his desk and typing away at a project, but what Jeongin doesn’t realize is that he’s not better off in any sense of the word. He’s been writing and deleting the same sentence over and over, nothing productive emerging when his mind keeps snapping to his friend who’s currently rolling around in his bed.</p>
<p>“<em>Channieee</em>,” is what makes him snap away from his work and turn to the other, the word whined breathily and clearly only so to catch his attention. “You have two more weeks to finish that, can you not take a little break?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know, can I?” Chan asks teasingly, leaning back in his chair with a smirk on his lips.</p>
<p>Huffing, Jeongin pouts at him, looking even cuter upside down. “For me?” He asks softly, carelessly throwing his phone to the side and Chan feels his blood rush south. Jeongin is becoming more and more confident in showing what he wants, and it’s not healthy for Chan in any way.</p>
<p>“Okay, since you asked so nicely,” he says, hoping to not come off half as flustered as he feels. He pushes himself up from his chair and walks towards his bed, expecting Jeongin to sit up and pull Chan in, but he stays in his heads down position, his head on perfect height with-</p>
<p>“Come closer,” Jeongin whispers, and Chan didn’t even realize he stopped a few steps away from him. Jeongin reaches out for him and the older slowly comes closer, gasping when Jeongin’s fingers curl into the fabric of his shorts and <em>pull</em>.</p>
<p>“W-what are you-“</p>
<p>“I’ve seen this in porn… I know it’s a thing and I… I want to try…” Jeongin mumbles shyly, his head red for more reasons than just his upside-down position. Chan lets him pull his shorts down along with his underwear and he steps out of it before coming closer, wrapping a hand around his half hard cock.</p>
<p>“You’re getting brave, aren’t you?” Chan asks fondly and Jeongin shrugs in reply, a shiteating grin on his face. “You know the angle makes it go deeper, right? I don’t want you to choke…”</p>
<p>Jeongin’s fingers tremble against Chan’s thighs. “I don’t mind that, we just have to go slow.”</p>
<p>“Okay.” Chan takes a deep breath, bending down to reach one hand out to graze it over Jeongin’s chest. He chuckles a little at the situation. “We’re good at slow so that should be now problem.”</p>
<p>Much to his surprise, Jeongin <em>sighs</em>. “You’re good at it, meanwhile I wanted to get railed for <em>so long</em>.”</p>
<p>Chan throbs in his own palm, giving himself a good tug to relieve some of the pressure. “What’s gotten <em>into </em>you today, oh my <em>gosh</em>.”</p>
<p>Bringing his hand up to nudge Chan’s away, Jeongin takes the other’s cock into his hand, still feeling flustered at being able to do so as he desires. “Not you, that’s for sure,” he mumbles, loving the way Chan freezes at the comment, before bending down more to be able to push Jeongin’s shirt up and get his hands on him.</p>
<p>Jeongin uses the hold he has on him to get the other to bend down a little until his cock is at the perfect height with Jeongin’s mouth, making him feel just a little breathless at the thought of what he’s about to do.</p>
<p>He waits until Chan stutters out some words in reply, before licking a stripe over his head, then reaches around him to urge him on to push into Jeongin’s waiting mouth by pressing down on his thighs.</p>
<p>Slowly, Chan fills him up while moaning out a string of nonsense, his fingers digging down harshly on Jeongin’s chest, where Chan is holding up most of his weight. It makes the younger feel even more breathless, even more delirious with cock pushing into his throat.</p>
<p>It goes so much deeper like this, so much easier than the day before and he doesn’t even struggle to swallow around Chan until his balls are nestled on Jeongin’s face, making breathing impossible. Tears collect in his eyes when Chan pulls out carefully again, followed by a wave of spit that runs down Jeongin’s face.</p>
<p>“Holy <em>fuck </em>this is so filthy,” Chan whines, his voice quivering. “Was that okay?”</p>
<p>Jeongin nods quickly. “V-very okay.” His voice already sounds ruined. “Please go on if you want to…”</p>
<p>With another curse, Chan dips down again and Jeongin opens his mouth wide to accommodate him, screwing his eyes shut when Chan begins to thrust shallowly. The drag of his cock is so smooth, reaching so deep in the position, it makes Jeongin feel filthy and naughty in the best way.</p>
<p>He spreads his legs on the mattress, bringing one hand down to palm himself over his pants, moaning around Chan at the sensation. Chan squeezes his chest once before pushing himself off, instead holding himself up on the mattress and replacing Jeongin’s hand with his.</p>
<p>Jeongin bucks up from the sudden touch, nudging Chan deeper into his throat by accident and making himself gag and choke around him. Chan pulls back at once, even more drool following than before and making a complete <em>mess</em> of Jeongin’s face.</p>
<p>He drops to his knees and helps him turn around, using his shorts to wipe the wet mess away as they both erupt in giggles.</p>
<p>“Sorry for that,” Chan says, pecking Jeongin’s swollen lips once his breathing evens.</p>
<p>Scrunching his nose, Jeongin pulls back to shake his head. “Don’t be, it was good… I don’t get how <em>that </em>can feel so fucking good?” He sits up to roll his head and circle his shoulders to get some of the tension out of the muscles.</p>
<p>“Sex is weird, huh? Sticking your stuff in other people’s stuff and you nut… crazy, crazy things,” Chan says when he straightens up with cracking knees, dodging the pillow thrown at him from Jeongin.</p>
<p>“Don’t say it like that,” the younger whines, leaning back against the wall to look at Chan, waiting for him to crawl on the bed and continue, or do something else entirely. Whatever it is, just helping him to take care of his <em>stuff</em>, as Chan put it so romantically.</p>
<p>Chan almost looks nervous, pulling his shirt down to hide his dripping cock while he shuffles on his spot. “I have an idea… something I’d like to try,” he offers nervously and Jeongin gives him an encouraging smile when he nods for him to go on. “What if I use a dildo on myself and you watch… because you said you never did more on yourself than fingers I thought maybe seeing someone else do it in front of you… you know…”</p>
<p>Jeongin almost forgot about the secrets he so mindlessly told Chan in post-orgasmic tiredness and they come back to him full force when Chan reminds him of what he said. On top of that, he didn’t expect Chan to be proposing anything of the sorts so suddenly, but he’s certainly not opposed, much opposite really.</p>
<p>“I-I, yeah, I’d like that a lot,” Jeongin manages after a few breathless seconds pass and Chan’s eyes widen in surprise, his whole expression lighting up.</p>
<p>“Okay great, I didn’t expect that, but <em>great</em>!” Chan exclaims excitedly. “I’ll quickly clean myself and then… yeah.”</p>
<p>Jeongin nods and watches Chan shuffle towards the bathroom, before an idea hits him. “Ch-Channie, what if you show me how to… to use a douche? Wait is that weird? That’s probably weird.”</p>
<p>Freezing in his spot, Chan seems to think over it for a few seconds before turning around and holding his hand out for Jeongin to beckon him forward. “I mean it’s certainly the first time I allowed someone to see, but I don’t mind showing you.”</p>
<p>A little nervously Jeongin follows him into the bathroom, watching as Chan pulls out a towel and places it on the counter before grabbing a bright pink douche with a black nozzle and a half-used bottle of lube.</p>
<p>“Okay so you want the water to be lukewarm, not too cold and not too hot,” he explains as he starts filling the squeeze part of douche before plopping the tip back on. “I showered earlier, but I’ll quickly just… wash myself…”</p>
<p>Jeongin watches as Chan shovels some water into his palms before spreading his legs and rubbing between them, his cock still half-hard despite the slight awkwardness between them.</p>
<p>“Thank you for showing me,” Jeongin mumbles and Chan sends him a smile in the mirror, his cheeks bright red.</p>
<p>After drying of his hands, he pours a dollop of lube onto the nozzle of the douche. “It goes in easier with a little lube, but I did it without for years so… you know, whatever feels best for you.”</p>
<p>“Okay, I’ll just… use lube to be safe,” Jeongin comments, moving out of the way when Chan walks to the toilet to squat over it.</p>
<p>“Okay so… this might be a little gross,” Chan warns as he pushes the douche between his legs. “The sounds are kind of nasty and yeah… you’ll see. But you won’t even really feel it go in with the lube and then you just squeeze it once, maybe twice, really not using too much and you pull it out.” He demonstrates it by holding the douche up for Jeongin to see. “I sometimes jump around a little but I’m not sure it really does anything… You just hold it for a second and then-“ Water splatters into the toilet and a wet farting sound rings through the room, making Chan wince. “Release…”</p>
<p>Jeongin’s cheeks are burning and he has to lean against the sink for some grounding. “That’s… not as scary as I thought,” he says, trying to sound normal, because what they’re doing is totally normal. Just a bro watching another bro clean his ass out.</p>
<p>“As long as you don’t plan to fuck some giant dicked men this will be more than enough, so… you just repeat it until the water runs clear and yeah, that’s it. Easy as that.”</p>
<p>Chan repeats the cycle two more times before emptying the douche into the toilet and standing up, having to clean around the toilet seat where some water ran down. He washes the douche out with steaming water and places it to the side to dry before towelling himself off.</p>
<p>“Thank you for showing me,” Jeongin says when they leave the bathroom, Chan grabbing the bottle of lube and the folded towel he picked out earlier on the way out.</p>
<p>“I hope it didn’t completely kill the mood,” Chan jokes, but Jeongin can see actual worry in his eyes.</p>
<p>“I think you realized how horny I am for you, a little ass cleaning won’t change that,” Jeongin replies, allowing Chan to gently shove him when he flusters at the words.</p>
<p>The older places the towel down on the bed before turning to Jeongin and pulling his shirt off for him to see, Jeongin immediately feeling his skin heat up. He walks closer to Chan while pulling his own shirt off, pressing their naked chests together to kiss the other.</p>
<p>Chan laces his fingers into Jeongin’s hair to deepen the kiss, slowly dropping backwards and leading them onto the mattress. It’s clear that the mood isn’t at all ruined when Jeongin’s pants feel uncomfortably tight after just a few minutes, his fingers going numb where they’re digging into Chan’s back.</p>
<p>He starts pushing them off with the help of Chan, the two having to part so he can discard of them fully. Chan ceases the moment to reach for his nightstand and Jeongin gets a quick glance at a drawer full of silicone, glass and leather that make his eyes boggle out of his head, but Chan closes it as soon as he fishes out a smooth black dildo that curves like a crescent moon.</p>
<p>“This is one of my favourites because it really, <em>uh</em>, it feels really great on my prostate,” Chan explains when Jeongin grazes his finger over the curve. “The feeling takes some time to get used to though, just a warning.”</p>
<p>“I’ll keep it in mind,” Jeongin replies quietly, the weight of the situation suddenly settling on him. He didn’t really expect to see Chan fucking himself with a dildo… ever, and now he’s going to experience it up close, a show just for him.</p>
<p>A bit breathlessly he settles down against the headboard, guided by Chan who falls back onto his elbows right after. “You know I’ve spread my legs for many people, but it hasn’t felt like this in a long time.” A panicked laugh leaves him. “I’m nervous, Jeongie-baby, you make me nervous!”</p>
<p>Jeongin blushes an even deeper shade of pink. “Don’t call me that in bed,” he whines, nudging Chan’s knee with his foot. “And believe me I’m probably more nervous than you…” He drops his voice to a whisper. “I’ve never seen that part of someone else in real life.”</p>
<p>With a small squeal Chan drops his head back, looking up at the ceiling. “Well I hope you won’t be disappointed then.” Taking a deep breath, he takes all of his nerves together and spreads his legs apart, propping his feet up on the mattress.</p>
<p>Jeongin’s mouth falls open when his eyes focus on Chan, suddenly noticing miniscule details like the way his knees are so much redder than any other parts of his body, how there are two small scars on his scrotum. There’s a mole right above his rim and Jeongin has the weird urge to reach out and touch it, which he refrains from by wrapping a hand around himself.</p>
<p>The sound of the lube bottle opening snaps his attention upwards and Jeongin watches as Chan hastily lubes some of his fingers up before dropping the bottle to the towel, uncaring of it spilling a little. His mouth hangs open as soon as he circles his rim, his head pressed down on the bed.</p>
<p>Jeongin can’t see Chan’s face from this angle, but he doubts he could even concentrate on it when his hole clenches as if it’s only awaiting for something to push inside and Chan quickly fulfils the yearning by dipping one finger in to the halt in a single swift movement that makes Jeongin’s eyes widen.</p>
<p>He himself only ever managed to work himself up slowly, one knuckle often feeling like way too much. But Chan doesn’t even seem to wince about the feeling, quickly adding another and pumping them in rhythmically.</p>
<p>“I-I don’t need a lot,” he explains breathily, noticing Jeongin’s awed face. “Usually don’t prep at all before getting fucked, ‘m good at relaxing…”</p>
<p>To prove his point, he takes his fingers out and spreads his legs further, winking at Jeongin but not with his eyes. Chan fumbles for the dildo with his free hand, sliding it through the sticky mess on the towel before bringing it to his rim and nudging it inside.</p>
<p>Chan is <em>loud</em>, louder than Jeongin ever thought he’d be, accentuating the slide in with high, breathy moans. Jeongin is panting, soft noises leaving him too when he begins to move his fist around his cock in the same rhythm that Chan sets on with the dildo.</p>
<p>His legs shiver every time he thrusts in at a certain angle, his moans turning especially desperate then and Jeongin realizes that his prostate must be the cause, stimulated perfectly by the curved toy. It tears beads of precum from Chan’s cock, making a true and honest mess of his stomach.</p>
<p>With one movement, Chan presses the dildo in deep, his back arching off of the bed as his knees buckle. Jeongin is sure if it was him, he’d cum right at that moment, but Chan only pulls the dildo out, leaving himself clenching, his cock still rock-hard.</p>
<p>He clambers up on shaky legs, crawling forward until he can take Jeongin’s breath away with a filthy kiss.</p>
<p>“You trust me, right little bug?” He asks, lips dragging against Jeongin’s, making the younger whine.</p>
<p>Jeongin does, he trusts Chan fully and with all of his being, would probably let him do anything. “Y-yeah, I trust you, Channie. Trust you so much.”</p>
<p>As quick as he came, Chan pulls back with an exhilarated smile. He bends over Jeongin, reaching for his nightstand again and Jeongin wonders if he’ll get a different toy, one of the many colourful things he saw before, but what he comes back with surprises Jeongin even more.</p>
<p>Chan tears the condom packet open as soon as he’s back on Jeongin’s lap, shuffling backwards to reach for his cock. “Is this okay?”</p>
<p>“Very, <em>very </em>okay,” Jeongin says while nodding, gasping when Chan rolls the condom on. “Fuck, Channie <em>please</em>.” He’s not even sure what he’s begging for, but he gets it not even a second later, when the older pumps a small amount of lube onto him before shuffling forward, a clear goal in mind.</p>
<p>Jeongin doesn’t know where to put his hands, so he places them flat on Chan’s thighs, feeling his muscles move and tremble when he pushes himself up over his cock. He has to shuffle around a few times to get their bodies to line up right, but when he finally does and Jeongin’s cock pushes inside, his nails dig into Chan’s skin, eyes rolling back.</p>
<p>It feels so warm, <em>so </em>tight, Jeongin could never accurately describe the feeling. He has half a mind left to blink his eyes open when Chan gasps, looking up to watch his face contort in pleasure as he slowly slides down, inch for inch.</p>
<p>He grinds into the feeling once he’s fully seated, making Jeongin see stars and drop his head back against the wall. It’s such an unusual feeling, so <em>good</em>, he wonders how he went so long without experiencing it. Maybe he’s drooling a little, but he doesn’t care.</p>
<p>The softest most vulnerable mewls leave Chan, his hands coming to rest on Jeongin’s shoulders, holding him up there. Jeongin can feel him clench and swivel his hips, but it’s nothing compared to the feeling when Chan pushes himself up and drops down again in a smooth motion, repeating it once, twice and-</p>
<p>“<em>Fuck</em>, oh fuck, Channiechannie<em>channie</em>,” Jeongin brabbles, shuddering as his orgasm hits him and Chan stops moving, completely seated on him.</p>
<p>He can feel a soft vibration from Chan, reverberating even through him. “Did you just-“</p>
<p>“Y-yeah…” Jeongin interrupts, a lazy smile on his lips. He feels much too blissed out to be ashamed.</p>
<p>He can feel Chan’s breath fan over his face when he laughs, not in a mean way, just completely endeared. Then he begins moving, making Jeongin hiss from oversensitivity but when he blinks his eyes open, he finds Chan jerking himself off, still sheathed on his cock.</p>
<p>With his muscles feeling heavy, Jeongin reaches out to pull Chan in by the neck, inviting him into a messy, lazy kiss that leaves their lips swollen and wet. It doesn’t take long for Chan to follow suit, shooting his load over Jeongin’s stomach and making him feel more than just a little accomplished.</p>
<p>“Hey Chan?” He asks when Chan is still panting, using his post-orgasmic bliss for what Jeongin hopes will be his advantage. With his forehead pressed against the younger’s, Chan nods in reply. “I want you to comer over tomorrow… to have sex with me.”</p>
<p>It seems to wake Chan up a little too well, and he sits up some more to read Jeongin’s expression. “Are you sure?” He asks, ever cautious.</p>
<p>Jeongin sighs with a soft smile and nods. “Very sure. I want to try… a few things on my own later on. You gave me some ideas. And if I- if I like it, I’d love for us to do it. And tomorrow is a good day for me, no classes the day after, not a lot of work to do… I think I could really prep well… mentally too, you know?”</p>
<p>Chan smiles and he looks weirdly proud. “Okay, you text me later if you still want to, after your <em>experiments</em>, and then I’ll come over tomorrow, whenever you want me to.”</p>
<p>Excitement sparks up Jeongin’s chest and if it wasn’t for the uncomfortable feeling of the filled condom around him, he’s pretty sure he’d get hard again just from the anticipation.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>🍒</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next day, Jeongin texts Chan to let himself in, waiting just a tiny bit anxiously on his bed. He tries to mimic what Chan did the day before, draping himself on his back with his legs spread far, his hole glistening with lube, prepared with the dildo he bought but never used until the prior evening.</p>
<p>He did not get a lot of sleep the night before. Voluntarily.</p>
<p>After he came home again, Jeongin was eager to try out what he saw Chan do, and after some trouble with the douche and not quite knowing how to get the right amount of water into himself, he managed to work three whole fingers into himself, without his erection flagging.</p>
<p>He used the time it took for his dinner to arrive to calm down, and afterwards tried out his dildo for the first time, and certainly not the last that night. Jeongin prepped himself well with it for Chan before his arrival too, wanting to show him just how sure he is of his opinion.</p>
<p>Nerves prickle on Jeongin’s skin when he can hear the spare key turn in his door that Chan always has on his own keychain. He takes a deep breath, arching his back and hoping he looks only half as good as Chan did in that same position the day before.</p>
<p>Jeongin’s eyes are closed as he’s waiting for Chan to shuffle his shoes off and come in, the first thing his eyes will fall on in the small space of the studio apartment without a doubt going to be the younger. Chan takes his time however, and he when footsteps finally come closer on the creaky floor, they’re followed by a sharp gasp and the sound of something heavy dropping to the floor.</p>
<p>Confused, Jeongin opens his eyes and pushes himself up on his elbows to see Chan on his knees, picking up an abundance of fruit he brought in a paper bag, having dropped it in shock. When he notices Jeongin’s eyes on him, he blushes to the tips of his ears.</p>
<p>“I thought maybe you wanted to eat something first so I brought some fruit from the market, I didn’t expect…” he brabbles, the sentence slurring off into nothingness when he stands up to place the collected produce on the counter. “Yeah, fuck that thought.”</p>
<p>He almost jumps at Jeongin on the bed, hands on his waist, his thigh, his shoulder, blanketing himself over the younger and pulling him into a deep kiss filled with pure wanting. He’s fully clothed while Jeongin has nothing to hide himself, his skin feeling even more on fire from the way the rough fabrics scrape against it when Chan moves above him.</p>
<p>He still opens his legs and wraps them around Chan’s middle, moaning at the feeling of him pressing down there, rutting over his sensitive cock. He slowly drags his tongue over Chan’s before gathering the fabric of the other’s shirt with his trembling fingers, pulling it upwards.</p>
<p>They have to part to pull it off and Chan bends back on his knees to look at Jeongin then, dark eyes devouring him whole, not even coming back up to his face once they land on his middle. Chan goes further even and hooks his hand under Jeongin’s knee to press his legs open wider.</p>
<p>Jeongin can feel the way it stretches him open, some of the excessive amount of lube he used earlier dribbling out of him and making him whimper in anticipation.</p>
<p>“All of this for me?” Chan asks cockily, his voice rough and sending shivers down Jeongin’s spine. He drags a finger down Jeongin’s cock confidently, lower and lower until it grazes over his perineum, but not quite where the younger is <em>yearning </em>for it. “Am I not the luckiest person in the world getting all of you just for me?” Finally, Chan shows mercy and circles Jeongin’s rim. “I’m touching you where no one else ever did…”</p>
<p>“T-tell me when you’re done ego tripping and are ready to d-do it,” Jeongin breaths out, already panting from the new sensations coming at him. Chan’s words only turn him on more, the knowledge that he is the first, the <em>only </em>person to touch Jeongin like this, to show him all these things more than just a little arousing.</p>
<p>Chan takes a second to answer, looking around the bed in search of something before grabbing the lube from next to Jeongin’s pillow with a triumphant smile. “<em>I’m</em> ready, Jeongin,” he says smugly, but the hint of nervousness in his voice gives him away. “We have to see if <em>you </em>are though.”</p>
<p>The snap of the lube bottle opening taunts the younger and he throws his head back against the pillow with an exaggerated sigh. “I’m ready, I made sure I am, believe me,” he says frustratedly. “F-fingered myself long and good for you…”</p>
<p>Bending over him, Chan presses wet fingers down on Jeongin, making him clench at the sudden touch. “Just fingers?” He asks with a cock of his brows, eyes flicking to the turquoise dildo laying next to Jeongin on the bed.</p>
<p>“N-no, fucked myself with the- the dildo too,” Jeongin stammers out, gasping when Chan breaches him without warning, just the tips of two fingers feeling already <em>so </em>much more intense than his own ever did. “O-<em>oh</em>, oh fuck, Channie…”</p>
<p>“It’s different when someone else does it, isn’t it?” Chan asks, bending over Jeongin to push his face forward when he attempts to hide it in the pillows, his cheeks <em>burning</em>. “Look at me, Jeongin. Look at me when I fill you with my fingers.”</p>
<p>A pitiful whine leaves the younger, but he blinks his eyes open to do what Chan asks of him. The position makes it seem like Chan is towering over him, so much wider, stronger, his muscles bulging where his arm is disappearing between Jeongin’s legs, fingers slowly being buried in his hole.</p>
<p>Chan’s pupils are blown wide, his lips plush and parted and so inviting for Jeongin to gravitate to. But he holds back in favour of concentrating on how Chan’s fingers feel inside him, so much more intense than his own, as if they’re longer, thicker, know him better.</p>
<p>They settle on an easy rhythm that is completely different from what Jeongin did as a means to prepare himself. He was frantic and quick about it, diligent in expectation of the dildo, only wanting to work himself up to that. But Chan is slow, and his touch filled with sensation, delicious pressure brought down on Jeongin’s walls when he curls them upwards.</p>
<p>When he grazes over Jeongin’s swollen prostate tears start to collect in the younger’s eyes, his whole body suddenly feeling delicate and fragile, only held together by Chan pressing down on it rhythmically in a way that makes Jeongin’s cock <em>drip</em>.</p>
<p>“Ch-Channie, <em>please</em>,” he gasps softly, feeling close to falling apart. “Need you…”</p>
<p>Cooing at him, the older bends down to press a soft kiss to Jeongin’s cheek. “But I’m right here…”</p>
<p>Jeongin shakes his head, mouthing over Chan’s skin in desperate search for his lips, licking between them filthily when he finally finds them. A string of saliva connects them when they part, dripping down on Jeongin’s chin when it snaps but he doesn’t care about wiping it away.</p>
<p>“N-need you inside… You know what I mean,” Jeongin begs further, his tongue lulling out when Chan stops moving inside of him, his fingers pressed against his prostate in a way that nearly stings, making the younger’s toes curl.</p>
<p>“I <em>am </em>inside of you, right here.” To underline his words, he draws his hand back in a swift movement, before thrusting his fingers back in to the halt, making Jeongin gasp and nearly choke on the abundance of spit in his mouth.</p>
<p>“<em>Chaaaan</em>,” he whines, nearly hiccupping from need. “Need your <em>cock</em>, not your fingers…”</p>
<p>Humming, Chan acts like he ponders over the preposition for a moment. “But you’re already so lost on my fingers, how do I know you can even <em>take </em>my cock,” he teases, and Jeongin’s bottom lip begins to tremble in utter desperation.</p>
<p>His voice is high when he replies. “I can take it. I <em>promise</em> I can.”</p>
<p>“Let’s see,” Chan mumbles and slowly pulls his fingers out, Jeongin’s heart kickstarting into a rapid rhythm in hopes of finally, <em>finally </em>feeling Chan inside. But when he peeks out from under hooded lids, he sees that Chan’s pants are still safely pulled up, no pretty cock in sight.</p>
<p>Instead, the older is slicking up Jeongin’s dildo with lube, wiping his hands off on the towel laid out underneath them afterwards. “If you can take cock so well, I’m sure you’ll be fine with me checking with this, right?”</p>
<p>Chan’s voice is menacing and Jeongin isn’t at <em>all </em>fine with it, but he swallows down the rebellious comment on his tongue. “Just <em>do </em>it and get to it, or I’ll <em>die </em>waiting for your cock,” he huffs, bringing his knees up to his chest to urge Chan on, his pink hole spread open prettily.</p>
<p>“You’re so <em>cute </em>when you’re desperate,” Chan coos, and if Jeongin’s arms wouldn’t feel like jelly he would swat his shoulder for teasing him so much. His mind goes deliciously, wonderfully empty when Chan presses the dildo against him, that he doesn’t even care.</p>
<p>It’s the same toy Jeongin used on himself before, the same size, shape and texture, and yet when Chan nudges the blunt head inside it feels <em>bigger</em>, <em>better</em>, controlled by someone else than him, moving deeper on someone else’s accord.</p>
<p>Jeongin has to grab his thighs to keep them folded against his chest, his toes curling, head falling back against the pillow once more when Chan works the toy in as deep as he can get it. Jeongin feels so full from it, but not nearly full enough when he reminds himself a real cock is waiting for him if he just takes this well.</p>
<p>“I’ll get you one like mine that can press down on your prostate nicely,” Chan mutters, his voice hoarse from arousal as he watches Jeongin’s body swallow the toy up. “Or one that vibrates, I’d love to see you lose your mind from that…”</p>
<p>“D-do it,” Jeongin grits out, his hips gyrating in a desperate try to get Chan to <em>move</em>. “You can literally do anything to me, just <em>do something</em>.”</p>
<p>With a chuckle, Chan complies and pulls the toy out slowly, testing Jeongin’s body. He can’t hold back a moan when he sees the way his rim protrudes with the toy, his body so tight despite prepping well for him.</p>
<p>Chan’s cock throbs at the pure thought of Jeongin’s body after he’s done with him, so much looser and filthier, all because of him. It makes him push the toy in quicker, pull it out at a simple rhythm that makes Jeongin gasp with every pull.</p>
<p>Bending over him, Chan presses a kiss to Jeongin’s knee. “Look at you, taking it so well,” he praises, keeping the dildo pressed in for a second longer than before to see Jeongin’s legs begin to tremble, before pulling it out again. “My cock will be no problem at all, huh?”</p>
<p>A smile forms on Jeongin’s face, almost a little proud. “G-gonna be so good… You will make me feel so good, <em>please</em> Channie make me feel good.”</p>
<p>Cursing, Chan sits back with a hand on Jeongin’s hip keeping him in the position when he pulls the toy out. Jeongin’s hole clenches around nothing for a second before staying tight and closed and in a deep, dark corner of Chan’s mind, he wonders how long it would take him to make Jeongin <em>gape</em>.</p>
<p>Shaking the thought away, Chan stands up to shuffle out of his pants, his cock completely hard and getting caught on the fabric frustratingly long. He sprints over to where he placed the fruit earlier, grabbing the box of condoms he brought with him, before crawling back onto the bed.</p>
<p>“H-how do you want me?” Jeongin asks shyly, toying with his own cock as he waits for Chan to rip a condom off of the strip.</p>
<p>The older turns to him with a soft smile. “How do <em>you </em>want <em>me</em>, little bug? How did you imagine it to go?”</p>
<p>Jeongin flushes at the question. “I want to see you,” he whispers, barely audible. “Want to be able to kiss and hold you and… be close…”</p>
<p>Chan’s fingers are shaking when he rips the condom package open to get one out, clearly affected. “I like that.” He gasps when he rolls the condom on. “I-I think I have an idea, give me that pillow…”</p>
<p>Handing him the pillow, Jeongin lifts his hips when Chan prompts him to, wiggling around until he drops down on the pillow, his middle elevated slightly. The older lubes himself up, holding back a moan from the sudden attention on his length, before crawling up to Jeongin.</p>
<p>He pushes his arms underneath Jeongin’s knees, gripping him by the hips to pull him forward, ass elevated even higher than before and his legs nearly angled over Chan’s shoulders. “It’s going to be close like this,” the older explains with a breathless voice. “And I’ll be able to go <em>deep</em>.”</p>
<p>Nodding, Jeongin grips on to Chan’s shoulders when he bends over him, folding Jeongin in half with the way he has his knees propped over his arms. “I trust you,” Jeongin reminds softly, making Chan smile and give him a quick peck, before reaching for his cock to line it up with his hole, dragging it over Jeongin’s rim a few times and making him gasp from the simple touch.</p>
<p>“Tell me if I need to stop or the position gets uncomfortable, okay? Or tap my shoulder…” Chan’s voice is strained and Jeongin squeezes his eyes shut after nodding, suddenly nervous. “Breath slowly, Jeongin… you’ll be fine…”</p>
<p>Trying to take the words to heart, the younger forces himself to stop panting and instead breathe in the same rhythm as Chan, still quicker than normal, but in a way that makes his muscles relax and his body feel less stiff.</p>
<p>“O-okay, ‘m ready I think,” he mumbles and sighs into another kiss that Chan presses against his mouth.</p>
<p>Jeongin’s lips part in a gasp when he can feel Chan push forward and nudge his way inside. He clenches automatically, but the older reminds him to relax, tracing soft patters on Jeongin’s arms until he can feel his muscles loosen up.</p>
<p>He must’ve used a lot of lube, a wet squelch sounding from between them when he slips in further, making Jeongin giggle and relax even more. Chan is only a little thicker than Jeongin’s dildo, but it feels completely incomparable, maybe not even due to the size but because of everything else.</p>
<p>He’s so much warmer, searing heat spreading throughout Jeongin’s guts the deeper he’s filled and he’s simultaneously harder <em>and </em>softer, fitting more easily into him, like they were made for each other, but at the same time so palpably different that Jeongin can’t concentrate on anything else but the alien feeling.</p>
<p>The last few centimetres make Jeongin’s eyes roll back, Chan’s hips suddenly pressing against him completely, his body folding Jeongin up even more so he can truly hold him tight and bring their lips together in a messy, wet kiss. Neither of them seems to have retained any control over their tongues, drool going everywhere as they touch in languid strokes while the uncomfort in Jeongin’s lower back slowly ceases to a feeling of fulfilment and tightness.</p>
<p>Tears have collected in the corners of Jeongin’s eyes and Chan wipes them away with his thumbs. “You’re doing so good, feel so good for me,” he praises, his voice not more than a whisper and Jeongin chokes out a whine.</p>
<p>“R-really?” He asks, a weird worry sitting in his chest that he’s holding Chan back, forcing him to be so slow and careful, ignoring the fact that the other doesn’t seem to mind one bit.</p>
<p>Chan nudges his cheek with his nose. “You take me like it’s nothing, look so pretty while doing it, <em>sound </em>so pretty… you’re tight and soft and <em>perfect</em>.” His voice rumbles over Jeongin’s skin, making him feel dizzy.</p>
<p>“F-feel really full, Channie… What if I can’t… What if you can’t get it out anymore…” Jeongin feels a little silly when the words tumble out, but Chan gently strokes his cheeks and pecks his nose before pushing himself up just a little.</p>
<p>“You’re so cute, but believe me that won’t happen,” he promises softly. “Look…”</p>
<p>Jeongin follows Chan’s gaze between their bodies, down over where his stomach is folding a little from the position, his cock squished against it, still hard. He whimpers when he realizes just how fucking <em>close </em>Chan is, that he’s really inside of him, right there.</p>
<p>“<em>Look</em>,” Chan repeats even quieter than before and Jeongin’s mouth drops open when he can feel him move, deep inside, slowly pulling backwards.</p>
<p>It doesn’t hurt in a painful way, it hurts in a sense that makes Jeongin feel completely and utterly torn apart, like a piece of him is being pulled away, leaving him empty and yearning for it. He can <em>feel </em>the space Chan leaves behind, can feel his girth leave while he <em>sees </em>it too, pulling out of him seemingly endlessly.</p>
<p>“<em>Fuck</em>, oh fuck, Channie,” he hiccups, a hand reaching out to wrap around his cock to keep it from stinging too bad in desperation to finally cum. He came a lot the last few days, but apparently, he can’t get enough.</p>
<p>“See? It’s not stuck…” Chan’s says with an accomplished smile and Jeongin drops his head back, his muscles shaking with the force to hold himself up and look.</p>
<p>“P-push in again, <em>please </em>for the love of the gods push in,” Jeongin begs, clawing down on Chan’s shoulder to pull him forward to really show him how much he needs it.</p>
<p>With a small chuckle, Chan gives him what he wants, his arms shaking under Jeongin’s legs as he must be similarly affected. The slide in goes so much smoother already, Chan truly having stretched out Jeongin’s body to fit him, and the thought is mind-numbingly hot.</p>
<p>When Chan bends down to embrace Jeongin again, he pulls his hips back just so, testing out a gentle, easy rhythm. The only thing the younger can fathom to do is bury his face in Chan’s neck and get a whimper pushed out of him with every time their hips meet, his hand trapped between their bodies and grasping at his own cock half-heartedly.</p>
<p>Chan is panting against Jeongin’s ear, groaning when he picks up the pace a little, each thrust making it easier and easier to fuck in, the feeling becoming sweeter and more pleasurable for the younger every time, whimpers soon turning into loud, wet moans.</p>
<p>“Chan- Chan-<em>nie</em>, Chan,” he chants when he finally finds words again, his voice throaty and unrestricted. “So good, <em>s-so good</em>, fuck-“ He bites down on Chan’s shoulder to stop himself from cursing with every move, his nails digging into Chan’s back and probably leaving marks.</p>
<p>With a groan, Chan pulls back, replacing his arms with his hands in the hollows of Jeongin’s knees to press his legs down against his chest. He looks down between them to watch his cock disappear in and out of the younger so smoothly, his rim sucking him back in every time.</p>
<p>“I-I don’t think I can go much longer,” he breathes out in between moans, experimentally snapping his hips forward a little quicker to see how Jeongin will take it. The younger arches his back, his free hand landing on one of Chan’s to hold him down with an even stronger grip.</p>
<p>“S-so you’re the-<em>ah</em> the one who comes first t-today,” he breathes out, feeling positively out of his mind. He quickens the pace of his fist around himself, choking on his spit when the sensations nearly become too much, the feeling of cock filling him up still so new. “I-I can’t much longer either, so j-just let go-<em>fuck</em>-“</p>
<p>Chan lets go of one of Jeongin’s legs to be able to circle his hand around the younger’s cock, slipping the other leg up over his shoulder. The angle makes everything feel so <em>different</em>, somehow even deeper and Jeongin sobs and moans when Chan manages to go even faster, truly fucking him thoroughly.</p>
<p>Jeongin never thought he’d be able to take it so well, but he finds that he only wants <em>more</em>, wants to get roughed up and truly taken to his limits, as if he’s not already there with tears brimming in his eyes and his chest heaving from exertion.</p>
<p>Chan makes sure to go <em>deep</em>, and it only takes a few more thrusts before he stops, Jeongin feeling like the other’s cock slips in even further, before he can feel him throb and pulse, shooting his load into the condom.</p>
<p>His vision is blurry from tears but he still gets a glimpse of Chan’s face distorted in pleasure, a wrecked version of Jeongin’s name tearing from his throat and with a last squeeze of Chan’s fist, Jeongin comes too, all over his stomach and chest.</p>
<p>A short stab of pain shoots up his spine when he involuntarily clenches around Chan, but the older is quick to drop Jeongin’s leg before it can cramp up, and he slowly slips out, sitting back on his heels panting for a few seconds before pulling the condom off and tying it up.</p>
<p>He reaches for a tissue from the bedside table to wrap it in, but Jeongin swats at his hand until he just drops it to the towel, before pulling Chan down, curling into a cute ball on his side and plucking at his best friend’s hand until he mends himself around him.</p>
<p>Soft kisses are pressed into Jeongin’s shoulder, careful fingers grazing over his sticky skin.</p>
<p>“How are you feeling?” Chan asks softly, hooking his chin over Jeongin’s shoulder to look at his blissed-out face, lips parted with soft huffs escaping. The younger blinks his eyes open slowly, burying his head into the pillow.</p>
<p>“Feels… empty…” he says truthfully, trying to find the right words. “Soft and delicate and like I might cry any second, but not a bad cry… just intense…”</p>
<p>Chan considers it for a few seconds, kissing the very top of Jeongin’s shoulder repeatedly. “You don’t regret it?” He asks, just to make sure, and Jeongin shakes his head, slowly pushing himself up into a sitting position to look at Chan.</p>
<p>He winces at the funny feeling between his legs, his skin heating up again. “No, not at all. Do you?”</p>
<p>A happy smile lights up Chan’s face and he shakes his head. “Not one bit, that was some great sex if you ask me…” His voice is a little rough and Jeongin reaches for the bottle on his bedside table that he put there in wise foresight, handing it to Chan.</p>
<p>He accidentally smears the cum on his stomach on his arm and shudders. “Drink, I’ll quickly go wash this off before it dries...” He points toward his stomach and grabs the dildo when he shuffles off of the bed. “I’ll wash this off too while I’m at it.”</p>
<p>“Want me to come with you?” Chan asks after taking a sip of water, but Jeongin shakes his head, getting up on his feet and swaying a little, blushing at the unusual feeling in his legs. “You sure? I don’t want you to fall over by accident…”</p>
<p>Jeongin pokes his tongue out at Chan over his shoulder. “Your cock might be good, but not good enough to make me fall over,” he teases before disappearing into the bath.</p>
<p>“Sure, aren’t you an expert,” Chan jokes after him, taking a few more sips before placing the bottle back down, then grabbing a tissue to wipe off his cock before standing up to throw away the condom that he left on the towel.</p>
<p>He feels all kind off giddy and blissed out, skipping around the room naked to collect his clothes and fold them up as he waits for Jeongin to return, who takes a strangely long time. Chan is about to lay back on the bed and allow his muscles to rest when he picks up a small noise from the bathroom, nearly sounding like crying.</p>
<p>He quickly walks to the bathroom, carefully knocking on the door.</p>
<p>“I-it’s open,” Jeongin stutters and his voice sounds like he’s in pain, so Chan quickly opens the door, ready to care for him and make sure the younger is fine, only to find him leaning against the counter of the sink, a hand held behind his back and pushing the dildo into himself.</p>
<p>Jeongin notices Chan’s surprised stare in the mirror and blushes. “I promise I came here to clean myself, but I felt d-down there and it’s so… so <em>loose</em>, so I accidentally got hard again and I didn’t want to be annoying or exhausting so I… yeah…”</p>
<p>Coming up behind him, Chan kisses Jeongin’s nape, before peeking at him in the mirror. “Nothing to be ashamed about,” he says, bringing his hand to Jeongin’s, kissing his skin once more before slowly pushing the dildo in deeper. “Should I leave you alone?”</p>
<p>Spreading his legs, Jeongin shakes his head at Chan in the mirror and pulls his hand away, allowing him to use the dildo as he so desires. It goes on so much easier than before and Jeongin feels all but boneless when Chan settles on an evil, quick pace.</p>
<p>He doesn’t allow him to settle into the feeling however, soon pushing the dildo in completely and stopping his movements. “Can I see how loose you are? Since you talked about it so cutely…”</p>
<p>“S-sure that’s the reason,” Jeongin humours him, but nods. “But do as you please.”</p>
<p>He still gasps when Chan pulls the dildo out and places it down next to the sink, instead bringing his fingers to his sensitive rim. He circles them around Jeongin, dipping them in without needing anymore lube than the one he picks up from his skin.</p>
<p>“My doing,” he says cutely, before his voice drops to a tone that makes a shudder run down Jeongin’s spine. “This is my doing.”</p>
<p>He slides up behind the younger, wrapping his arms around him to merge their bodies together, his front pressing against Jeongin’s back. His cock is half hard, sitting tauntingly on his ass and slowly, Chan begins to grind against Jeongin, making him feel just how aroused he’s making him.</p>
<p>Dropping his head against Chan’s shoulder, Jeongin presses kisses against his neck, arching his back in hopes to get Chan to not only move <em>over </em>him, but hopefully <em>inside </em>of him. A hand on his hip stops his antics and presses him forward against the sink.</p>
<p>“Jeongin,” Chan growls, biting down on his neck. “No condom here…”</p>
<p>Blushing, Jeongin freezes and feels his breathing quicken. “I totally forgot about that, oh gosh…”</p>
<p>He can feel Chan smile against his neck. “That’s okay… We can go back to bed if you want…”</p>
<p>Jeongin uses all force to push Chan away, making him look confused for a second before his hand is grabbed and he’s dragged along. “I’d want nothing more,” the younger says shyly, glad that his face isn’t visible to Chan.</p>
<p>They settle back down on the bed, mouths and hands not leaving each other once. Nervously, Jeongin rolls a condom onto Chan, guided by the older, and with a generous pump of lube over his cock he settles down over him, straddling Chan’s hips.</p>
<p>His cock slides in wonderfully easily, making Jeongin’s heart beat a little faster from the knowledge that all of this is Chan’s doing, that it’s only because of him that his body can take it. He connects their mouths in a filthy kiss and slowly starts grinding his hips, feeling too tired and sore for much more.</p>
<p>Chan’s hands roam all over his back, travelling down until he can grab Jeongin’s ass and squeeze it, reach his fingers between to touch Jeongin where Chan’s cock is disappearing inside of him.</p>
<p>“You’re so pretty like this,” Chan mouths against his lips, even though he’s not even watching Jeongin, only feeling with his skin, his heart, his whole being. “And I’ll never get tired of the sounds you make like this.”</p>
<p>Jeongin’s grinding stutters a little in its rhythm when the words lull him into an even softer headspace, his lips tingling, tasting of Chan only as he’s being filled up and surrounded by him completely. His mind is loopy and all over the place, almost like that day after the party when they were both drunk and came up with the idea.</p>
<p>He’s glad they did, wouldn’t want to be anywhere in the world other than right here, in Chan’s arms.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading! Please leave me a little comment and tell me your thoughts if you want to :3</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>